Ben just gave me a call, and he’s talking with our finance people to move stuff…he was just calling me to catch me up with what is going on with buying the house, which is great. Everything is going fine.
He was talking about timelines, and we thought we would have to drive up to Seattle at least once in February to sign papers, but apparently they can FedEx them to us, which is great, because otherwise we’d be driving back and forth between the states way too much, and I was kind of stressing about how we were going to make that happen. But then Ben was saying that we do have to do a walk-through 3 days before they close and we get the keys, just to make sure everything is the way it should be and the seller didn’t trash the house or anything. So he is planning on renting the condo for a week to work in the office, and we’d do the walk through, and then 3 days later we get they keys to the house.
And all of a sudden I thought: when I have the keys to my house, I have no reason to go back to California.
OMG.
I started sweating just thinking about this.
Things just got very real.
(I need to start packing).
I have no reason to go back to California. I have no reason to go back to California. I have no reason to go back to California.
I just can’t believe this.
I am leaving California. I need to take a shower. I’m sweating.
No doubt, it is critical to teach our children about history; but it is so hard to teach them about the realities of history. As a teacher, it is difficult to find the lessons that will build the stories and voices who have been silenced; as a mother, it is difficult to teach the lessons without holding my children with my arms, close to me as I read the words.
WWII happened such a long time ago, its atrocities can blend in with sinister tales of werewolves and dark forests that seem fuzzy on details, and are unfathomable to believe. But the sinister tales were more real than the Black Forest of Germany, and the villains had names engraved on their office doors.
It is difficult for kids, let alone ourselves, to understand the depth of horror the world was in during that time, from the Depression in America, to the ghettos of Europe, to the Concentration Camps to the Atomic Bomb…
how could any of these things seem real, when we are sitting in our living room today? Safely reading about the holocaust without worrying about being captured, let alone killed. Lunch is at noon, and we are having leftover spaghetti. My daughter asked for a glass of milk in the middle of the lesson, and I was able to give it to her. The conversations over lunch were regarding how to defeat Sandman in the Lego video game.
For parents, it is difficult to find the balance of how much to teach different ages of children. It certainly took me a while to sort through so much invaluable material available.
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.
Martin Niemöller: Niemöller was a German pastor and theologian, born in Germany in 1892. Originally a supporter of Hitler’s policies, he eventually opposed them. He was arrested and eventually confined in the concentration Sachsenhausen and Dachau camps. He was liberated by the allies in 1945 and continued his career in Germany as a clergyman and as a noted pacifist.”
5. “Night Will Fall” Tonight at 10:30 on HBO
This is a documentary about the film crews who documented the atrocities in concentration camps. I have already set it to record at 10:30pm on HBO.
‘Night Will Fall’ Examines the Making of a 1945 Holocaust Documentary
“The HBO documentary “Night Will Fall” is a movie about the Holocaust, a movie about remembering the Holocaust and primarily, at least in formal terms, a movie about a movie. It may not do full justice to all these subjects in its tight 78 minutes, but it’s not a film you’re likely to forget…
““Night Will Fall,” directed by André Singer (and making its television premiere on HBO on Monday), tells the story of “Factual Survey,” incorporating archival and current interviews with people involved in its making. It also fills out the story of how the British, American and Soviet cameramen documented the unbelievable scenes that the liberating troops found, and includes touching sequences in which soldiers and camp inmates who appear in the old footage describe their horrific experiences seven decades ago.”
Everyone is being warned to stay inside, do not leave your home, do not drive, bicycles have been outlawed and only outlaws will have bicycles. Make sure you have food and water (and beer) stocked for a few days. Dogs and cats living together…So many warnings…
Well, not on the West Coast, we aren’t.
Just remember, West Coast folks: you may have the burning desire to rub it in how good we have it over here, with our Fashionably Ripped Denim in December, our Jaunty Jackets in January, Flip Flops in February. Who cares?? We’re West Coast, baby.
…but this blizzard isn’t going to last forever, my friends, and soon their airports will be functioning again. They will fly en masse to find us and beat the sunshine out of our smug, organic grins. And they will steal our flip flops in spite.
So, do our East Coast bretheren a favor: be prepared for their utter, soul-crushing boredom while they wait the blizzard out in their barricaded homes.
These aren’t snowmen. These are just the East Coast folks who tried to get their mail in the morning after the blizzard.
1. Your Friends On The East Coast Are Stuck Inside For A Week. They Are Bored. Be Prepared.
These guys have nothing better to do than watch the snow fall, and the wind blow the trees onto their power lines and kill their main source for entertainment.
Do them a favor and have some stuff to talk about while they are sitting in the dark, wondering why they haven’t moved to the West Coast.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) Star Trek: Generations (1994) Star Trek: First Contact (1996) Star Trek: Nemesis (2002) Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)
You should be through the blizzard by the time Benedict Cumberbatch takes over the starship.
I’m sure there are other ideas for Netflix marathons…but honestly, you can’t get better than starting with Kirk, a little Picard in the middle and ending with Benedict.
You just can’t.
3. Their Kids Are Going Bonkers. Help A Parent Out. Ideas For The Kids Who Are Stuck Inside Too.
Arts and crafts. Now, before you freak out about the glitter, glue, scissors and paper cuttings that are going to destroy your kitchen…make it easy on yourself. Make your own Play-Dough or finally make the melted crayon art thing.
Build a fort. You know how to do this. Either use couch cushions, or put a blanket over the kitchen table.
Computer games.Breaking Orbits (mine) has a great video page for kids to play around. PBS Kids lets younger ones play with Curious George and Daniel Tiger, and Nick Games has the Power Rangers to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Disney Jr. has Sophia the First, Doc McStuffins, etc.
Video games. Play with them…no bogarting the controller!
4. Karaoke…For You And The Kids
The last one is just evil.
5. And Finally…Help The Baby Boom That’s Coming In 9 Months
There are qualities we look for in leaders that stand out above all the media, all the confetti and all the roadside banners.
Qualities that represent honesty, integrity and character.
My fellow Americans, I offer you my services as Mayor. Before I promise lower property taxes, better roads, more transparent infrastructure, or balanced budgets, I feel strongly in my qualifications to be Mayor through my history in public service:
1. I Fully Support Local Firefighters!
Especially the little ones!
2. America Has The 2nd Ammendment For A Reason.
And it isn’t to let it go to waste.
3. We Have History In Our Families, And In Our Nation.
We should remember and honor both.
My great-grandparents, whose great-grandparents emmigrated from Scotland.
The home of John and Abigail Adams’, who helped build this nation and teach its children through a school they built on their land.
4. Encouraging Our Children To Learn in the Sciences, As Well As The Arts
The other night I was watching the State of the Union address with Ben.
I was listening to how great things are going, and what amazing plans they have for the future, and how much better we are than Russia. Making friends, as always. Good stuff.
The best parts were the Rebublicans who didn’t move, and the President who threw snark at them like a pro. Politics, politics, politics.
And all I could think of the whole time was….
I could do this.
Oh, I know. It’s a tough job. It may take “people skillz” that I may, or may not, have.
But you know, I could do this.
I already have 2 people who have vowed to vote for me. One friend said she would sample the wine on Airforce 1 to make sure it wasn’t poisoned for me; and that is loyalty you just can’t buy with campaign stickers.
Unfortunately, though, I can’t be President.
This is not because I cannot handle the job, or because I am only 36. I cannot be President only because I have not held a public office yet.
Which means I need to be Mayor first.
Mayor Rockwood
So, I will need to start my campaign now. Get a head start on things.
There shall herefor be more Parades to celebrate lower Property Taxes! Huzzah!
“There are well over 500,000 elected offices in the United States. Add in all of the elected officials in all of the democracies in the world, and you’ve got millions and millions of elected offices worldwide.
The vast majority of these elected positions are for small, local offices. While we all hear about the huge national candidates and elections, the vast majority of candidates duke it out on a far smaller stage, vying for seats on school boards, township commissions, county legislatures, and local planning commissions.
While most of the basic strategy of winning election contests applies to both large and small campaigns (things like getting press coverage, writing a fundraising plan, and developing a great political slogan are universal), there are many differences, and small campaigns need to adjust their tactics to make the biggest impact. Without further ado, we present three important tips on how to win election contests in small districts:
1. Focus on Relationships and Personal Contact
The more local your election contest is, the more personal contact voters anticipate from each candidate. Not many people expect to receive phone calls or personal door-to-door visits from their senator or governor, but most voters want to have personal contact with their local city councilman or small town mayor.
If you want to know how to win election contests in small local districts, know that you’ve got to build relationships with the voters and meet them by going to door to door, attending small neighborhood events, and being present and involved in almost every activity in your district.
2. Be Careful How You Spend Money
Many local candidates make the mistake of spending their campaign fundraising revenue foolishly… they hoard cash to buy one run of TV ads that no one will see, rather than sending out three flights of direct mail, or they pay Election Day workers without ever seeing if they can get enough free volunteers to fill all of the spots they need.
Don’t make mistakes like these – small campaigns operate on small budgets, so make every dollar count. For every expenditure you make, think: will this get me closer to victory on Election Day? If so, is there any wiser way to spend the money that will get us even closer?
3. Target, Target, Target!
Just because you can go door-to-door to every house in the district, or can afford to send one mail piece to every registered voter in a small town, doesn’t mean it’s a wise investment. Leaning how to win election campaigns of any size, large or small, means learning how to target your tactics.
Figure out which voters you really need to concentrate on: Who is likely to vote? Who will almost assuredly vote for me? Who will definitely vote for my opponent? Who are the swing voters? This is the heart of targeting. Use this data to figure out where to spend your money… for example, is it better to send one mailing to every registered voter or to send two mailings to every registered voter who has voted in two of the past four elections? (To learn more about targeting, including an in-depth, step-by-step guide to performing targeting for your own campaign, check out Local Victory’s How to Win Any Election, which contains a huge section on targeting).”
Probably too much, if this is a confessional. If I had to choose between coffee and daydreams, and folding the laundry…well, my friends, my laundry is still sitting there.
Case in point: I have had this going through my head for a few weeks.
But look at the clip when Captain America tries. The hammer moved! You can see the look on Thor’s face change when he notices that…
Writing is definitely a form of escape for us who are writers. “So what about you, Modern Philosophers, Why do you write?” This is a good question, but it can only be answered with painful and bloody answers.
GIS: “running errands,” and got “Hillary Duff Running Errands.”
I totally look like this when I run errands. I can hold my purse with one hand. Skinny jeans. Unstained white shirt. BOOTS. We’re basically the same person.
Kids martial arts from 3-4:30
Target, to buy a new coffee maker
I got a lot of writing done during martial arts, which was fantastic.Conrad played MineCraft on my phone while Nova and Glenn were in class, and Nova and Glenn finished up their schoolwork while Conrad was in class.Win-win, all around.
After classes were over we hopped in the car and headed over to Target for a new coffee pot
Yes, I took a picture of my purple coffee pot. And Instagrammed it. Because.
See, we can’t keep a coffee pot as a long-term relationship option.It doesn’t matter what brand, what style, what warranty, what store or what the barometric pressure is outside…our coffee pot will die after 1 1/2 years.
The last time a coffee pot died was when Ben was out of town, and I woke up to an unresponsive pot.It was a cold shoulder I was not prepared for, and since we had traveled over an hour to go to a specialty store to pick up this “guaranteed” coffee pot with “gravity drip system” (gravity, people), I was enormously displeased that it failed me; along with a long list of coffee pots who have also failed me.
I took the kids to Target and got a cheap, $19 purple coffee pot.Because who cares, at this point. It is going to break in a month, most likely, and at least I am only out $19.That’s like, 3 lattes.So, it’s a good deal, all in all.
We drink way more coffee than the average person.
As a SAHM, I know for a fact that I drink more than most SAHMs in America.
I just like coffee.A lot.Granted, over the years I have tried to cut down for health reasons.I don’t need my heart skipping down the lane just because I have had too much coffee.So, 2 cups in the morning, sometimes 3.1 or 2 cups in the afternoon.Sometimes Irish Coffees at night.That isn’t unreasonable, I don’t think.It isn’t 10 cups a day or anything (*cough*College*cough*)
So, after +2 years, the remarkable purple coffee pot finally broke.It is understandable, since they all leave us at some point.You never know when it will happen though, so you are never prepared for it when it comes time.
Yesterday morning I filled the reservoir and placed the basket of Costcos’ Folgers grinds into the pot, and I pushed the only button it had: START.
This was seriously a basic coffee pot.It heated the water, it dripped the water and the carafe caught the dripping coffee.It had one button to start the process, and it was the same button to end the process.It was uncomplicated, unsophisticated and it didn’t challenge any of our decisions.It started when we requested it, and it stopped when we demanded it. And if we ignored it, it did nothing but the last request we asked of it (we may have left it on for over 12 hours a few times).
The difference yesterday was that the pot may have turned the little white “ON” light, but it never heated the water. It never dripped over the grounds. It never dripped into the glass carafe.
I was stuck drinking Via all day.
Which, granted, is better than Folger’s Instant French Roast coffee…Via is actually a pretty decent cuppa. But it isn’t the same, and by the time I got to Target at 5 I was tired. Very tired.
So tired that I was walking through the parking lot of Target pushing a shopping cart, and I saw a car had their headlights on. I said, “Oh shoot, I forgot to turn mine on!” and actually reached with my hand to turn the headlights of my cart on.
They get it.
It was so nice to get home and brew a normal pot of coffee. I felt back to my normal self after a cup and a half in front of a fire. It was lovely.
This morning was quite different than yesterday morning.
I woke up to coffee THAT HAD ALREADY BEEN BREWED FOR ME. Be still my uncaffeinated heart.
You see, this coffee pot has an “AUTO” button. And a clock. You can get these two things to work together, apparently, to brew coffee on demand. I am so happy. So happy. Caffeinated tears of joy.
During the day, the coffee pot would turn itself off after 2 hours…which threw us off a little.
“Did you turn the pot off?”
“No, I thought you turned it off?”
“Is it turning off on its own after 2 hours??”
“Dude, that is messed up. We didn’t ask it to turn off. It should ask us before it makes that decision for us!”
“I know! I wasn’t ready to be done with this pot yet. This is plain manipulation of our coffee pot.”
“This is messed up.”
Friends, I learned about my entitled, jerk self today when I didn’t like when my coffee pot chose to turn itself off without consulting me first.
She is the pickiest eater I have. She is also the smallest; and not just because she eats about a third of what her younger sister eats, but she was the smallest at birth as well. The largest was 10.6lbs, and little Eve came in at a paltry 8.0lbs. She wasn’t a big nurser, and we had to start her on solids early just to get her weight up. 4 out of 5 of my kids have been in the 90-110% percentile on the growth charts. Eve has come up from 12% to 40% over time, which is great! That was such a relief when she finally started gaining weight.
Despite her little frame, she holds the biggest personality, the most fire and more opinions than any of the kids.
This is absolutely my favorite Adam Levine song.
She knows exactly what she wants to listen to (I keep finding her listening to Adam Levine/Maroon5 when she is alone, which is awesome taste in music ), what she will wear (either Chinese silk, or soft cotton shirts), and she loves her bling. Which is weird. I am not a bling person, Ben isn’t a bling person, none of the other kids even know what bling is…but she knows.
There was one time I took her and Nova to get their hair cut. While Nova was in the chair, I gave Eve a magazine on the table to flip through. It was a wedding magazine, and I wasn’t entirely interested. I sewed my own bridal gown and crafted my own headpiece and veil, because that’s how I roll. I don’t like the styles of wedding dresses out there: so much thick, bumpy lace and beads everywhere, and sleeveless…blech.
Eve, on the other hand, loved the magazine.
She turned to a page with a gigantic wedding ring with a ginormous diamond, and stuck her hand out and very dramatically said, “That ring goes on my finger!”
She was 3 at the time. No one else in our family has ever looked twice at jewelry. I didn’t even know she knew what this stuff was…
But she knows. She knows exactly what she likes, and she will tell you exactly why.
Which brings us to food.
The other day for lunch I made wagon wheel pasta salad. We love pasta salad over here (here is my gf version!), so the kids were super excited!
Well, 4 out of 5 kids were super excited.
Eve ate the apple sausage and tomatoes, but kept poking the pasta. I told her she could bring her plate to my desk and eat if she wanted (dude, whatever… if it means she will eat, it’s fine with me).
But as she was sitting there, she was talking about what was going on in her thoughts. This is when it got really interesting.
I was just letting her talk, and after listening to her for a few minutes, suddenly I was able to understand what was going on with her aversion to the pasta!
(Unfortunately, I kept running out of space on my phone and it would stop recording…so you are getting this in 2 segments)
The squishy pasta texture reminded her of the squishy starfish texture we saw in the tide pools when we went to Monterey Bay, and that grossed her out!
Some Moms can get bent out of shape about food, and I completely understand this.
There have been more than a few times when I have spent a lot of time in the kitchen getting an amazing, nutritious meal ready for everybody…only to find out that everyone has filled up on chips while I was cooking, and not hungry by the time we sat down to eat.
BURN.
Or if some people like one food one day, and hate it the next (this is a reality).
Or if people are going through a growth spurt, and aren’t hungry for days.
Or if they don’t like the food I am making, and spend an hour pushing around their plate.
Dinner with kids is not as simple as reheating a microwave dinner on high for 2:35minutes. I really want my family to have good, nutritous food that will help them grow and learn, and I want them to be familiar with different foods as well as familiar foods. Sometimes this means eating chickpeas or bok choy, or split pea soup or duck. I remember when we were in Beijing I needed to have one jar of peanut butter (that cost like, $20 in the expats store) because although Conrad, who was 1 at the time, was cool with the food we were giving him…after a while he wouldn’t eat one more thing with soy sauce or chilis, and I could get him to eat peanut butter sandwiches. This is a completely reasonable solution.
But they are still kids, and sometimes they just don’t like things. Even if they are starving.
This makes them cranky, which can make you cranky, which makes the situation cranky.
I know these times can happen, because that’s just life. However, it isn’t something that should be happening all the time. This is a pattern of which you should take notice…it usually isn’t just being difficult for the sake of being difficult.
If your kid won’t eat what you give them, or is upset with the food, or dreads mealtimes…chances are, something else is going on.
They could be dehydrated, they could be growing, they could have a cold…or they could have Celiac or be lactose intolerant.
Or they could be reminded of the squishy starfish she was poking at the beach.
The best thing is to be quiet and let them talk, and tell you what is on their minds with an open heart. Chances are, this is something about them, and isn’t about you or your cooking at all. The nice thing is that after these moments, your relationship with them will be closer and more accessible, and you will be able to love them in more personal and real ways.
And that’s what every Mom wants…it is definitely what I want, more than all the bling in the world 🙂
Lunch: Orange tea with Apple/Salami/Cheddar Garden Salad. Success!!
I remember when I was young, I wanted to amazing things that would change the world.
I had no plans other than “amazing things” and “change the world.”
(which could be why I went into Literature in college, rather than something more world-changingly-pragmatic like Political Science)
Due to my inability to figure out how I could do these amazing things, I simply started with myself.
But I still believe this to be true! You are the change you wish to see in the world. If you want people to be nicer, the best way is to be nicer to them first.
Conversely, if you want to make the world a worse place and for people to be jerks, the best way to accomplish this is to be a royal jerk to them first. I guarantee you will see quick results.
When I became a parent, I used these words of wisdom to guide my words: were the words I was using making a positive change? Were they imparting peace and kindness into the little minds I had running around in circles? How could I change the world, starting with my home?
The thing is, at some point, the words coming out of your mouth don’t even make sense anymore.
You don’t realize what you are actually saying until much later, when you stop speaking in fluent, coherent paragraphs but instead hear yourself using code phrases all day.
“The Boots Are Out The Window.”
“The Child Is On The Fridge.”
“Get The …The Thing! With The Stuff In It! It’s On The Washer!”
Gone were my days as a layman civilian: I realized yesterday that what I was saying could easily be interpreted as Spy Codes.
“The Child Is At The Door…Abort Plan, I Repeat, Abort Plan.”
A person unofficially employed by an intelligence service, often as a source of information
Agent-in-Place
A government employee who is influenced to cooperate with a foreign government instead of defecting; now working for two employers instead of one
Agent-of-Influence
A person who works within the government or media of a target country to influence national policy
Asset
A clandestine source or method, usually an agent
or
Babysitter
Bodyguard
Clandestine Operation
An intelligence operation designed to remain secret
Dangle
A person sent by the intelligence agency of his or her own country who approaches an intelligence agency in the hope of being recruited as a spy so as to allow a double agent operation for the purpose of intelligence collection or disinformation
I highly recommend utilizing these fantastic phrases into your infiltrated base.
These aren’t snowmen. These are just the East Coast folks who tried to get their mail in the morning after the blizzard.
There shall herefor be more Parades to celebrate lower Property Taxes! Huzzah!
GIS: “running errands,” and got “Hillary Duff Running Errands.”
Y
They get it.
The Platypus Directive 
