Are You Really A Parent …Or A Spy?

I remember when I was young, I wanted to amazing things that would change the world.

I had no plans other than “amazing things” and “change the world.”

(which could be why I went into Literature in college, rather than something more world-changingly-pragmatic like Political Science)

Due to my inability to figure out how I could do these amazing things, I simply started with myself.


But I still believe this to be true!  You are the change you wish to see in the world.  If you want people to be nicer, the best way is to be nicer to them first.

Conversely, if you want to make the world a worse place and for people to be jerks, the best way to accomplish this is to be a  royal jerk to them first.  I guarantee you will see quick results.



When I became a parent, I used these words of wisdom to guide my words: were the words I was using making a positive change?  Were they imparting peace and kindness into the little minds I had running around in circles?  How could I change the world, starting with my home?

The thing is, at some point, the words coming out of your mouth don’t even make sense anymore.

You don’t realize what you are actually saying until much later, when you stop speaking in fluent, coherent paragraphs but instead hear yourself using code phrases all day.


“The Boots Are Out The Window.”

“The Child Is On The Fridge.”

“Get The …The Thing!  With The Stuff In It!  It’s On The Washer!”


Gone were my days as a layman civilian: I realized yesterday that what I was saying could easily be interpreted as Spy Codes.


“The Child Is At The Door…Abort Plan, I Repeat, Abort Plan.”

“Find The Chicken Under The Couch.”

“Rescue Mission Of Elsa, Complete.”


I found a great online resource for The Language of Espionage , straight from the Spy Museum!


Here are some starter terms:



A person unofficially employed by an intelligence service, often as a source of information


A government employee who is influenced to cooperate with a foreign government instead of defecting; now working for two employers instead of one


A person who works within the government or media of a target country to influence national policy


A clandestine source or method, usually an agent




Clandestine Operation

An intelligence operation designed to remain secret


A person sent by the intelligence agency of his or her own country who approaches an intelligence agency in the hope of being recruited as a spy so as to allow a double agent operation for the purpose of intelligence collection or disinformation


I highly recommend utilizing these fantastic phrases into your infiltrated base.




 Screenshot 2015-01-20 12.23.53Spy Museum


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