How To Fool Your Friends And Make Enemies, One Clean Baseboard At A Time

Recently we got to know a couple who are both INFP.

Which is crazy. Mostly because both Ben and I are INTJ…

and if you have never met an INTJ, it is simply because they didn’t want to be met.  INTJ individuals are fantastic, although a little withdrawn and a tad peculiar.  If you are okay with this, then we will be the bestest and most dedicated friends on earth.

INTJs are also frustrating. They are aloof.  They are quirky.  They are blunt.  They can seem superior. They are etherial…

…they speak of themselves in the third person…

but they are also staunchly loyal, deeply caring and invested in relationships far beyond what is actually necessary.  So being married to another INTJ just makes sense to me.  We get it.  Logic makes everything better, and we live in this logic world where we justify everything to death.  Because we love it.  And I can tell you why in a 25 page dissertation.

 

 

When I meet other people, it is just incredible to observe them and watch how they react or respond to life.

(this is solely an INTJ response. It’s horrible)

INFPs work in such different ways than from INTJs.  They can actually be compassionate for a living and not lose their minds working out the logic of the situation.  It is simply incredible to witness because it is so different.  I need a flow chart of compassion: not to distance myself from the situation, but to make sure every possible scenario has been accounted for, documented and acknowledged.

That is the main problem with us INTJs, is that we are extremely thorough.  With some things, it is acceptable.  For work or projects, I can see how being overly thorough can be a huge benefit.  However, when it comes to personal relationships this meticulous methodology can come off as rather robotic in nature, if not micro-managing and even oppressive.  The alternative is to not be meticulous, and then we seem stand-offish.  It’s a tough balance, and I think most of us make it work out in the end.

Where am I going with this…

The other day I was reading this article on how to clean your house.

I hate cleaning my house. It. Is. So. Tedious.  I should be cleaning it right now, and I’m not.  Oh, it’ll get done.  Just not now.

So, I’m reading this article on how to clean your house, and I’m just laughing at it.  Because the entire point of the article was “Top 10 Ways Your Friends Are Judging You Based On How Clean Your House Is.”

Which is ridiculous.  What friend comes over and judges you because you have dust on your baseboards?  Who checks to see if there is dust behind your spice jars in the kitchen?  Would you want them over, just to judge you for menial nonsense, in the first place?

Listen. From an INTJ perspective, I just don’t care.  People are taken care of here.  Ben is the most amazing husband on earth.  I’m not too bad a cook, myself.  The kids are very loved. We do fun stuff, we take care of our chores and schoolwork, and we enjoy fun and healthy meals together.

At the end of the day, I am looking at my family, not my baseboards.

A few years ago I was in a mother’s group, and the leader always had a pretty tidy house.  We finally asked her about it, and she was totally honest: she hid everything.  The dirty dishes in the sink? If someone was coming over, she would put all the dishes into a bucket and put the bucket into the bathtub and close the curtains.  Dirty pans go into the oven.  Toys go into the hall closet.  Laundry on the couch gets thrown on top of the toys.

It was actually pretty ingenious at the time.  I had a few young kids, and zero time to tend to the house…so I totally implemented a few of these procedures.  Although, the look on Ben’s face when he found the dishes in the bathtub was a nebula of confusion.

The thing is, by now it really isn’t that big of a deal to me anymore.  The house gets taken care of for the most part, and when I have time I really make an effort to clean a little better if we are having guests.  But if you are a friend and you pop over during the day, you are going to find a messy kitchen.  There will be peanut butter on my kitchen tablecloth.  There may be blankets on the stairs.

Because that is life around here!  And I figure friends are friends because we like each other…not because I convince you that my house is immaculate.  I figure a round of wine and a few brownies I made earlier, and never cleaned up after, goes farther than hiding dishes in the bathtub when it comes to building authentic relationships.

That’s just my $.02 for this afternoon.  Cheers 🙂

 

 

 

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Saturday PNW Roadtrip: To The Coast!

Quote of the day yesterday when I was buying my hat, “You are too young to remember this, but this is a very 70s, rock and roll hat.” (born in the 70s, my friend)

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This weekend was fraught with adventure.  We did a little fishing,

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11130177_10206443801795888_6760568627454597143_nAnd caught no fish….

 

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We went to some touristy stores…

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Saw a little flora on the way…


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Found some amazing beaches,


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A little roadtripping,

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Found some oddly large things in the middle of nowhere,

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Found some wild Platypus’

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Our goal was to make it to the coast.  The real coast with the Pacific Ocean.  This was one of the dead ends we ran into trying to get there.

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Me in my overall-y goodness.

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Huge waterfalls we found on the side of the road.


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The most amazing and magical lake on the face of the earth.  If Vikings had rowed past us with dragon mastheads, I wouldn’t have been surprised.

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The lake even gave us a rainbow as we left.  How’s that for hospitality?

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We saw Canada, and actually got Canadian “Roger” cell reception for a moment.


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And finally we made it to the coast.  It was beautiful and calm, and just lovely.

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Just Be Cool. It’s Only Shoes. Just Be Cool.

I packed my heels 3 months ago, and I still can’t find them.

I am sure they are somewhere, in some box.  But I haven’t found the box, and I haven’t worn my heels in far too long.

Not that there is anywhere I could actually wear them, so I don’t see how it matters.  I’m not gong to wear my 5″ killer heels to the store, or to the Library.  It might be a little weird (not that this has ever stopped me before, for the record).  Even at church, there are a billion stairs and it is all uphill/downhill to get from the parking lot to the front doors, so it is kind of impossible to wear my amazing heels there.

I would love to find the box, regardless of whether I have anywhere to wear them.

Because my heels are awesome.

 

10959419_10205828103883825_5273276260381945854_nLast time I saw my heels.

In the absence of my fun shoes, I am finding myself perusing heels on Pinterest, and I am going to take you along with me.

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First, I am going to lure you in with glass slippers.

Because we all want glass slippers.

LOT.

Although I will tell you that they don’t exist, you are going to look anyway.  Because they are glass slippers.  Unbelievably awesome.

Then, I am going to tempt you with these babies:

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Which may or may not be comfortable, because they are made out of metal…but they look so amazing, you will make sure you get your Tetanus booster shot to make it work.

But then, you need some shoes that you can actually wear.  And that actually exist.  So I give you this:

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So cute and flirty!  And perfect for summer.  So much fun.  Perfect for picnic BBQs.

However, you aren’t on this site because you are swayed by cute shoes.  You need something of substance.

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RUBY SLIPPERS.

I mean, you could wear these with jeans and totally rock it.

And although you may like these sensible shoes, you need to be tantilized with something…unusual.  Something that breaks the conformity.  Something that tells the world, “She is somebody.

So I give you these:


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But you don’t want to go too far…there are only a handful of places you can get away with antlers on your shoes, or chicken feet heels.

So we finish off with something classy

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There you go.  Heels by Tamarah.

What My New, Programmable Coffee Pot Taught Me About My Entitled, Jerk Self

This article originally appeared on Ravishly.

Featured on:Ravishly-300x102

How My Programmable Coffee Pot Revealed My Entitled, Jerk Self

Entitled coffee, at its finest Entitled coffee, at its finest

Yesterday I had two errands, on top of my list of my usual Homeschooling-SAHM list of things to do:

• Kids martial arts from 3-4:30

• Target, to buy a new coffee maker

My husband and I have a heap of children together, and when it came time to begin school, we threw in the towel of convention and we decided to homeschool them all. It isn’t a big leap for me, since I love teaching and actually enjoyed being a substitute teacher for public and private schools; teaching my own kids was a natural fit for me.

Besides the daily agenda of schoolwork, there are also meals to create, dishes to do, floors to sweep and laundry to . . . ignore (Who am I kidding? Laundry sucks.) I know there are special unicorns out there who receive an endorphin rush when they match socks. I am not this creature.

Yesterday I got a lot of writing done during the kids’ martial arts, which was fantastic. One of the kids played MineCraft on my phone while the other two were in class, and then the other two finished up their schoolwork while the one kid was in class. Win-win, all around.

Task #1: Accomplished.

After classes were over, we hopped in the car and headed over to Target for a new coffee pot.

See, we can’t keep a coffee pot as a long-term relationship option. It doesn’t matter what brand, style, warranty, store or even the barometric pressure. Our coffee pot will die.

The last episode of “MyCoffeePot & Me” aired 2 years ago when I woke up to an unresponsive pot. I tenderly serenaded its one button (“this is your purpose in liiiiiife!”). We had traveled over an hour to go to a specialty store to pick up this “guaranteed” coffee pot with “gravity drip system” (gravity, people). I was enormously displeased that it failed me; one among many others on a long list of coffee pots who have also failed me.

So, off we went to Target. I got a cheap, $19 purple coffee pot. It is going to break, most likely, because they all break, and at least I am only out $19. That’s like, 3 lattes. I figured it was a good deal. Plus, it was purple.

Yes, I took a picture of my purple coffee pot.

And Instagrammed it. Because.

Now, for context, we drink way more coffee than the average person.

As a SAHM, I know for a fact that I drink more than most SAHM’s in America.

I just like coffee. Black coffee. A lot. Granted, over the years I have tried to cut down. I don’t need my heart skipping down the lane just because I have had too much coffee. So, two cups in the morning, sometimes three. One or two cups in the afternoon. Sometimes Irish Coffees at night. That isn’t unreasonable, I don’t think. It isn’t 10+ cups a day or anything (*cough* college *cough*)

Back to yesterday: After two years, the remarkable purple coffee pot finally broke. It is understandable, since they all leave us at some point. You never know when it will happen though, so you are never prepared for it when the time comes.

Yesterday, I filled the purple reservoir with purified water. I placed the basket of Folgers grinds into the basket, and I pushed its one button: START.

Now, this was—seriously—a basic coffee pot. It heated the water, it dripped the water and the carafe caught the dripping coffee. It had one button to start the process, and it was the same button to end the process. Uncomplicated. Unsophisticated. No challenges. It started and stopped. If we ignored it, it did nothing but the last request we asked of it (we may have left it on for over 12 hours a few times).

 Though, yesterday, the pot may have turned the little white “ON” light, but it never heated the water. It never dripped over the grounds. It never dripped into the glass carafe. The lit “ON” button was a glowing white lie. The water just sat in the reservoir, and the coffee grounds sat in their basket. Never did the two meet.

I was stuck drinking Via all day.

Which, granted, is better than Folger’s Instant French Roast coffee. But it isn’t the same, and by the time I got to Target at 5 pm I was tired.

Very tired.

So tired, that I was walking through the parking lot of Target pushing a shopping cart, and I saw a car had their headlights on. I said, “Oh shoot, I forgot to turn mine on!” Then I actually reached to turn on the headlights of my cart. 

I needed help. And I got it on aisle 14.

It was nice to get home and brew a normal pot of coffee yesterday evening. I felt back to my normal self after a cup and a half in front of a fire. It was lovely.

. . .

This morning was quite different than yesterday morning.

I woke up to brewed coffee. Be still, my uncaffeinated heart.

You see, this new coffee pot has an “AUTO” button. And a clock. You can get these two things to work together, apparently, to brew coffee on demand. I am happy. So happy. Caffeinated tears of joy.

During the day, however, the coffee pot would turn itself off after 2 hours.

“Did you turn the pot off?”

“No, I thought you turned it off?”

“Is it turning off on its own after 2 hours??”

“Dude, that is messed up. We didn’t ask it to turn off. It should ask us before it makes that decision!”

“I know! I wasn’t ready to be done with this pot yet. There is still 6 cups of coffee left in there, and now it is cold. This is plain manipulation of our coffee pot.”

“This is messed up.”

Friends, I learned about my entitled, jerk self today when I became upset and felt manipulated when my coffee pot chose to turn itself off without consulting me first.

I’m not sure what this says about me, exactly.

But I am giving my manipulative coffee pot the evil eye when it gets to about 8 cups now.

I might need to work on my control issues.

Oh, shut up and drink your coffee.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-chili Cornbread C-C-C-C-C-Combo

Tamarah

I have made this a few times, and I FINALLY remembered to take some pictures for a post!

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This is a pretty amazing lunch dish, so I would highly recommend it.

Super easy comfort food.

5/5 kids agree.

And 1 husband.

Here We Go!

Ingredients

Cornbread-

  • 2 cups flour
  • 1.5 cups cornmeal
  • 3 tbsp shortening
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 3 tbsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp kosher salt
  • 2 cups milk

Combine all in a Kitchen Aid and mix until well combined.IMG_3232

Pour into sprayed muffin tin or casserole dish, and top with chili…before baking.  You are going to be baking the chili into the cornbread.

400F for 20 minutes.

Enjoy!

IMG_3236Down HomeChili-

  • 4 cups of dried pinto beans (do. not. use. beans. from. a. can.)                                                  …

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Who Are You? : Hey There, Champ.

Ahh, Saturday mornings.

Granted, it is now Saturday afternoon for me…but I thoroughly enjoyed my Saturday morning while it lasted.

I had a little coffee, made a little breakfast (you just can’t go wrong with scrambled eggs and provolone on toast), and ignored the laundry.  Hey, it’s not going anywhere.  Yet.

I don’t know what we have in mind for the day, exactly.  It is a beautiful sunny day, and we might go explore a pond later.  We are all getting over a little cold, and finally starting to feel better so I think it would be good for all of us to get out of the house for a little bit.  Good stretch of the legs.

In the meantime, how about some personality quizzes to round out the day??

Let’s go!

 

Which Hobbit Character Are You?

I am not Galadriel??  😦

Well, it is probably for the best.  I don’t know if I should have that much power.  I think Bard is the best answer, albeit a little fishy.

You are Bard!
You
Although you find it hard to trust others, you care a lot about your family and will do anything to protect them. You are a little reckless but you are kindhearted and many people look up to you. All in all, you are a very courageous person.

Which Animal Do You Transform Into?

I’m okay with this.

Wolf
Wolf
You have a beautiful soul and you love to be round loads of family members but when it comes to dinner time you will grab as much as you can before the rest of the family have at it. but you always protect your family and your friends from the unwanted visitors even if they hardly leave you any food at the buffets. you are strong and you’ll never give up fighting for whats right, you are loyal to loved ones to the end you hopeless romantic you!

Do You Really Have Perfect English Skills?

Baby, my degree is in English Skillz.  I got this covered.

BOOYA.

Grammar Slammer
Grammar
Exemplary, my liege! Your mastery of American English is unparalleled (not unparalelled as so many would believe) and your abundant knowledge is greatly appreciated (what, with there being a societal deprivation of such). Your innate intelligence is applied dutifully and naturally to such concepts as predicates, complements, objects, nouns, verbs, adjectives, and -GASP- spelling words correctly and/or using them in proper context! We bow to you, Grammar Master! Carry thy banner high and mighty!

What Do People Love About You?

Probably not my grammar nazi skillz 😉

What a boring answer.  My honesty?  I can honestly tell you this was a disappointing answer.  I thought people might love me because of my charisma, or my charm, or that I remind them of an ancient Druid queen or something.  Something a little more exciting than “honesty.”

Although.

You certainly have more interesting conversations, the more honest they are.  You know what I mean?

Your honesty!
Your
People love you for your honesty!They will always come for you when they want an honest opinion! They admire you for not sugarcoating and telling the whole truth instead! You always seek justice it amazes them! But be careful and don’t let it hurt people’s feelings too! Other than that, keep it up!

Which Nickname Is Perfect For You?

Naturally, the only thing I think of is Bilbo’s riddle when I hear “Champ”:

Thirty white horses on a red hill,
First they champ,
Then they stamp,
Then they stand still.

Champ

Champ
Go get ’em champ! You are a natural born leader who knows how to overcome any challenge! You are competitive and love winning so this nickname is perfect for you!

 

 

What Kind Of Literature Lover Are You?

This doesn’t surprise me.  Reading is fun 🙂
Well-rounded Bibliophile
Well-rounded
You never understand people who read only one genre. You’ll read anything that you can get your hands on. You love being whisked away to imaginary worlds in futuristic novels, and remaining firm on the ground in biographies of people who changed the world. You can be inspired, provoked to think, and spurred to love deeper.Some books to consider if you haven’t already: Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee, The Residence by Kate Andersen Brower, and The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins.

 

 

 

I Require For Myself A Proper Sitting Room

A project I am slowly plotting to begin is the construction of my proper Sitting Room.

I believe if every woman needs A Room of One’s Own, then my room should be a Sitting Room, in which I shall fervently read on a big squishy chair in the afternoon sunlight, and consequently in which to also fall asleep in said chair, with said book.

However, the construction of the perfect Sitting Room requires a thorough understanding of its purpose, and some forethought into the planning.

 

 

This is the Lincoln Room in the White House Museum.

Yes, yes.  Planning a Sitting Room based on the designs of the White House Museum might be a little much, in comparison to my meager empty breakfast nook that I am planning on transforming.  But I think raising the bar can be a good thing, don’t you?  At least it is giving me a destination on which to set my sights.

The breakfast nook in my house is the most perfect Sitting Room on earth.  It is small and cozy, but not too small, and not too cozy.  It faces southeast, so it gathers the morning and afternoon sun.  It is bright, comfortable, sunny and just begging to be made into a Sitting Room with two big, squishy chairs, in which to sink and read books, and a low coffee table, on which to hold coffee, and probably my feet.

 

IMG_3161You can feel the sunlight already…I might need to make some coffee.  I’m getting sleepy just looking at this.

 

For a little while I believed I should go the conventional route and actually put in the space a round breakfast nook table with some matching chairs; but, I just can’t do it.  It is too conventional, and this space is too perfect for reading, and I cannot let this opportunity go.

So, with all this being said, here are some ideas I had:

 

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This is the Pinterest page I have for my Sitting Room idea.

 

A couple things that I liked, in particular:

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I like the layout of the chairs and table here, but it is feels a little cold.

 

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I like the warm coziness here, but I don’t like how stiff the chairs look or the open space in front of the chairs. It is a warm feeling, but not cozy enough.

 

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I like how this room feels.  It’s warm, casual, lots of squishy pillows and comfortable.  I could easily see myself reading many books in a space like this. However, I’m afraid I could lose my books/keys/shoes/phone/kids in the jumble, so it might not be a good idea, exactly.

So, these are the plans I have so far.  We’ll see what I can find!