“Do Mommy Bloggers Matter? …”

First, let me just clarify: I have nothing against mothers… “

http://stuntandgimmicks.com/do-mommy-bloggers-matter/

 

This is such an interesting idea.  Do Mommy Bloggers matter?

I hadn’t considered Mommy Bloggers didn’t matter.  It definitely takes a perspective outside of onesself to see if one matters.  Or does it?

I was curious, just to be contrary, if Daddy Bloggers matter, and I was quite amused to see that not only do they matter, but they have their own website: Screen Shot 2014-07-02 at 4.52.51 PM

http://dadmatters.focusonthefamily.com/

 

A few people who have commented on the worth of Mommy Bloggers are people like Jenna Hatfield who says, “Screen Shot 2014-07-02 at 4.55.51 PMhttp://www.blogher.com/mommy-blogging-remains-radical-act

or

Screen Shot 2014-07-02 at 4.57.03 PM

http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/2014/04/i-worry-for-mommy-bloggers.html

 

But these still don’t answer the question, “Do Mommy Bloggers Matter?”

That is a question that raises the uncertainty of the inherent worth of a Mommy Blogger.

Does what these women do matter?  

 

When we place the power to define our worth in someone else’s hands, we are often told that we only want to be wanted. This artificial script leaves us with an extremely narrow role: to be a pleaser.

Victoria Pynchon  (http://www.forbes.com/sites/shenegotiates/2011/10/12/what-is-a-woman-worth/)
I am very interested in solidifying my value, because the value of women is such a hot topic.  My grandmother’s value was so low, she could not legally vote; so, logically, my value is greater.  I live in a free country, I have a few college degrees and I have the freedom to drive, work and speak; these rights and freedoms are not allowed to women in other countries, so is it that my value is greater than theirs?

Although I don’t think so, I will say that the value of self that one believes in may be true for them, but it will not be true for everyone.  My value in Iran is very different than my value in California, even though I am the same person in either place.  So we have to conclude that my value is estimated by the people around me.

I’ll just predicate this idea by stating:  That Sucks.

My worth can be determined by the people around me?  Who gave them that ability?  Really?  What person can tell you what your worth is?

 

A very interesting interview with Christian author Carolyn Custis James explored her perspective of “God’s Purpose For Women”:

Women know they’re fighting battles. They fight battles with and for themselves; they fight battles for their children or neighbors or communities. We know we’re warriors. And it’s good that we’re warriors with the men, not against the men. That’s very powerful.

These women throughout Scripture—Ruth and Naomi, Deborah, Mary of Nazareth—they’re warriors. They’re standing up for the kingdom; they’re doing the hard things God calls them to do. That gives us a handle on who we are, and that can’t be taken away.”

When I see questions like, “Do Mommy Bloggers Matter,” I feel the battle of the value of being a woman.  I don’t like it, because I understand the worth within myself.  I know for an absolute fact that my husband values me above all the worth in the world.  My children value me as the greatest mother on earth, and my family understands my great value; as I understand theirs.

But I realize that  not everyone shares my view.  Not everyone understands the value of women.

And this is a battle it seems we will always be fighting.

 

My favorite chapter of the Bible is Proverbs 31.

I can identify with the woman in that chapter, not because of everything she accomplishes, which can be a little overwhelming to read, but because of the inner strength, and confident tenacity she has within her.

I am always fighting with how mankind values women, but I am steadfast in how God values women:

A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.”

The fight we feel within us when someone questions our value is flimsy.  I can simply turn the channel, close the browser or walk out of a room in order to dismiss the ridiculous claim that women somehow don’t matter…even if you have absurd follow-up statements like, “...I have nothing against mothers.

Value is something that I believe is more important than people realize.  As a person, we are always looking to see what our value is: Is it in our waistline? Our bank account? Do we find our value in how much we get accomplished every day, or by how much we are praised by other people?  
Our societal value as a woman has definitely changed through the last century.  On one hand, women gained the right to vote in 1920, so that was a huge step for us.  On the other hand, the feminist viewpoint determined that the value of a woman was still not equal to the value of a man, and thus began the struggle for women to be “just as good as men.”  
As opposed to having value within oneself.
Yet, in Proverbs 31, we see how God values women: 
 She is far more precious than jewels.
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But the thing is, even if someone didn’t see value in me, even if an entire nation saw me as a less valuable person…it really wouldn’t matter.

Because I was created byOne Greater than mankind, and One Mightier than nations, and I know my value to God.

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And I love you too 😉

 

Letting Go of Past Goals

There is nothing more pathetic than cleaning out your harddrive on your laptop, and seeing over 10 years’ worth of old goals and projects that have either come and gone, or never came at all.

I have a proposal written up here to organize a city-wide marathon, supporting churches and church ministries.  I really wanted to get us all on the same page under the banner of love and unity, seeing as there were like, 60 Christian churches in town.  Looking over my proposal is incredible: I had already had a response from the head of the Police Dept. for security and clearance, and a number of groups for booths, such as the local Girl Scout troops.  Unfortunately, we needed a million dollar insurance policy to start that out, and the head pastor said it wasn’t going to happen.

It’s sad that I still have the proposal….10 years later.   It was just too good of an idea to let go.

Continue reading “Letting Go of Past Goals”

The Purpose of the Artist: The Sensitive Spirit, or the Eccentric Ego?

the-weeping-woman credit

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. – Pablo Piccasso

 One of the goals of parenting should be to broaden the parent-child relationship from “supportive” to “engaged.”

The other day my son was playing a spelling game, and he had to spell the word “axe.”  I was curious what the difference was between “ax” and “axe”…and although I’m sorry to say there isn’t a big difference between the two, I did read a definition of “phrases which use ax”  that seemed relevant to what I am trying to explain.

The phrase was, “have an ax to grind have a self-serving reason for doing or being involved in something: she joined the board because she had an ax to grind with the school system.”

 A lot of times I see parents, or if I’m being completely honest, I see myself, participate with what their children are doing for self-serving reasons.  You could say, “they have an ax to grind with life/school/careers, and so they have a self-serving reason for being involved in what their kids are involved in”:

Continue reading “The Purpose of the Artist: The Sensitive Spirit, or the Eccentric Ego?”

I Have A Mom Butt.

This article originally appeared on Ravishly.

Featured on:Ravishly-300x102

I Have A Mom Butt — And It’s OK

mom butt. bathing suit.mom butt. bathing suit.

The Mom Butt is what my aunts had when I was growing up in LA.  The Mom Butt is not what you will ever see in magazines, or posing on a red carpet, or being praised in Gweneth Paltrow’s no-bake, no-eat cookbook.

The other night my husband and I took our kids to swim at a lake nearby.  This is an awesome lake that no one goes to on weekdays, and especially in the evening: which means we have it all to ourselves!  We love this lake and try to take advantage of it as often as we can during the summer.

Now, after 5 enormous pregnancies and still having a few dozen pounds to lose before I get to pre-pregnancy, college-weight:  I hate bathing suits.  I have a body that was designed for having babies.  I have never had a body that looks like any of the ladies on Pinterest who are stretching in green fields wearing hot pants and sports bras…

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I can’t imagine running around my suburban neighborhood wearing this.                                               Does it even come in size “I’ve-had-5-kids”?

Continue reading “I Have A Mom Butt.”

Navy SEAL Motherhood Training

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The other day I was reading the transcript of Adm. McRaven’s commencement speech to the graduating class at  University of Texas at Austin, and it was just an incredible journey.

He talked about the people who started the SEAL training, he talked about what they did in training and he talked about the people who had to leave.  What was left was a group of SEALS.

The whole time I was reading this I was thinking: if mothers had training guidelines like this, it would make a world of difference!  We would know what to expect, what our expectations should be, what our days will be like …and most importantly, where the journey will take us and for what purpose.

Now, making “training guidelines” for mothers is kind of ridiculous.  It doesn’t scare me away, but I’m a little more “tough as nails” on the scale of womanhood.  I can only imagine how it would come across for my more tenderhearted peers.

Nevertheless, I believe it would be helpful to have some guidelines for motherhood…and I’m using SEAL training as my base! :

1) Navy SEAL Motherhood Training (yes, I’m going there!)

2) The Big 4 Mental Toughness

3) 15 Things Emotionally Strong Mothers Don’t Do

4) Avoid The Trenches

5) What Is The Point.

Raising Artists & Creatives: Why are you up there in the first place?

Why are you up there in the first place?

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During a conversation once, I talked with a friend about making the leap into “doing” instead of “watching” a while ago, and this was her story:

“One day, when I lived near a lake, I was hanging with a group of friends at a swim hole, when we found a freaky rope swing that could get you about 20 feet of air before landing in the water.

All of them were enthusiastic to risk it and use it, while I, being the sheepish lady I tend to be, hesitated when it was my turn to go. 

I sat there for one minute…then five minutes….then 10 minutes with the rope in my hands, shaking, finding every reason not to go, taking my sweet time, when one of my friends shouts:

“The more you think about it, the longer it will take. The longer it takes, the more you will find reasons to not go. Why are you up there in the first place? Because you want to go! Don’t be a bastard, just GO.”

Continue reading “Raising Artists & Creatives: Why are you up there in the first place?”

Raising Artists & Creatives: The Myth of Mnemosyne

The Myth of Mnemosyne

220px-Mnemosyne_(color)_Rossetti

Last year I took our foster lab to the vet to get neutered.

It was dark and early in the morning, well before I am usually coherent, and the waiting room had a couple other dogs anxiously pacing and barking on leashes.  There was one tiny dog, some chihuahua breed, that just had it in for my lab.  He was barking up a storm and trying to escape his handlers, and probably making them pretty happy that his procedure was finally happening.  My dog, who was about 70 pounds by then, was terrified of this chihuahua and was trying to crawl underneath my legs for protection.  Little did he know what he was actually there for…I don’t think he would have been as trusting.

The funny thing is, there were a number of ladies there with cages that had large towels and blankets draped over them.  I didn’t know if they were catching raccoons or beavers or what at that hour, but it looked like they all had been tromping around in the dirt before they got here.  One lady had wild blond hair, rolled up faded, turquoise sweatpants, old running shoes and an open flannel button down shirt over a dingy white tshirt.  She had 3 traps with feral cats she had caught that morning down by the old sugar plant.  From what she told some other woman in the waiting room, she had been doing this for over 20 years now; catching cats in fields and bringing them in to the vet.

Another woman in the room had one cat in her carrier, and it looked more like she was there to have her pet neutered as well.  I struck up a conversation with her…and it was interesting.  She was concerned with saving these feral cats,  and had a bunch of plans on how to make this her mission in life.  It was interesting because we were in a vets office in the middle of the San Joaquin valley of California, surrounded by farm fields, dairies and orchards.  She was commuting out here for her mission from her townhouse in Berkeley.  I didn’t really understand why exactly she was driving over an hour to come out to farmlands to catch cats, but I figured the exotic is more fun than the familiar.  Catching cats in an abandoned sugar plant is certainly more exciting than finding cats in your garbage can next to your townhouse.

Anyway, she named the feral cat, which I think kind of goes against the nature of feral cats.  But it was her new mission, and she was excited, so she named the cat “Camus.”

I have no idea who Camus is, but she certainly did.  She said, “Camus wrote ’The Stranger,’ obviously, so I named him ‘Camus,’ since he was a stranger to me.”

So, off I went to Wikipedia to figure out who Camus was.

Turns out he, “was a French Nobel Prize winning author, journalist, and philosopher. His views contributed to the rise of the philosophy known as absurdism. He wrote in his essay “The Rebel” that his whole life was devoted to opposing the philosophy of nihilism while still delving deeply into individual freedom . (Wikipedia)“  “The Stranger” was a book he wrote in 1946. (link)

Camus said, “I summarized The Stranger a long time ago, with a remark I admit was highly paradoxical: ‘In our society any man who does not weep at his mother’s funeral runs the risk of being sentenced to death.’ I only meant that the hero of my book is condemned because he does not play the game.

This is what interests me: the person who does not play the game.  The game of life that fits the square pegs into square holes.  The game of idealized expectations from society: The behaviors and goals that are normally expected from people in a culture, and the expected judgement onto them when they fail to meet the expectations.  The person who does not have a 9-5 job with benefits.  The person who chooses something different.  The person who chooses a life of “else.”  Not a retail job, what else?  Not a career in a factory, what else?  Not a person who eats at chain restaurants…what else?

When I was in college I worked at an art gallery for a few years.  I was the assistant curator, and I loved that job.  I loved seeing the artwork coming in, I loved meeting the artists, I loved seeing the good work and the bad work…and then finding out the meaning behind the bad work, and having my mind blown.  Art is a mysterious field with mysterious people.  The artists I worked with ranged from women dressed in silk scarves with impeccable hair and expensive perfume, to very angry bald potters wearing flannel and jeans.  You really can’t tell artists out of the crowd, because there are so many artists out there.  Not just the crazy performance artists who plague Berkeley or Greenwich Village, but deep-rooted artists who see the world as an Artist.

tumblr_mzzqxabKjH1st5lhmo1_1280 The Artist sees the light through the tea reflecting the flowers in the backyard.  They will show you the extraordinary emotions of your heart through the ordinary.
tumblr_myp99avE2U1st5lhmo1_1280 The Artist sees the shadows of memories reflecting the legacy of the land.  They will remind you of your father who once showed you how to whittle a stick properly;  your distant uncle who came to visit once when you were young and took you for a ride through the country on his Victory motorcycle.
tumblr_mzzqzbLVlr1st5lhmo1_1280 The Artist will wonder what is in the unseen at the end of the road…but it is unlikely they will go to see.  They will, instead, create the dragon from whose cave the mists creep.
tumblr_n21lrpbo2x1st5lhmo1_1280 And a lot of times…most of the time…the Artist is on a very lonely journey, traveling up the Mountain of Creativity.  Because for an Artist and a Creative, they are seeing the world through a very particular set of eyes that have been calved and hewn differently.  The Artist and Creative will feel the world through different filters…and it is through the filtering process that we get their best, and worst, work.  From the ordinary, we see “what else” there might be…

This is The Artist.  They are the “Else” in society which makes life so beautiful.

Camus was concerned with the foundational “point” of life in the face of the “absurdity” of life.  How is it possible to be worried about the life and death of your lawn when in reality, it is absurd to worry about your lawn when you are just going to ultimately die and leave a dead lawn anyway.

 “We value our own lives in spite of our mortality and in spite of the universe’s silence. While we can live with a dualism (I can accept periods of unhappiness, because I know I will also experience happiness to come), we cannot live with the paradox (I think my life is of great importance, but I also think it is meaningless).

And the reason why I bring up absurdity is this:

What is the point of Art?  What is the purpose of Creating, when the chances of it being meaningful, successful, or, goodness knows, appreciated, is so slim?  Why bother creating art when it is absurd to life an easy life of comfort as an artist?  How can the Artist life with the duality of creating meaning in a world of meaninglessness?

I mean this in quite stark and somber realities: the Art programs in all schools are being cut.  If asked, the general person would not be able to tell you what you would do with a degree in Art, let alone Art History.  The career prospectives for people who desire to be an artist are slim pickings.  The idea of being a career artist is a long, lonely, personal journey up the Mountain of Creativity that will happen only if the Artist believes with their guts that they must Create, or they will die.

The purpose of Art and Creativity is within the Artist and the Creative; but each purpose is an idiosyncratic journey.

This topic is the hardest to write for me because it is so personal.  I might as well just write about my life and the other artists in my family.  So trying to be objective about this is definitely a struggle.

But I believe that in order to raise young Artists and Creatives to believe in themselves, and believe in what they see and feel, their parents must understand what it means to be an Artist and a Creative…and what they can do with their talents, besides get fired from the Public School system.

Camus’ story called, “The Myth of Sisyphus,” said, ”The central concern of The Myth of Sisyphus is what Camus calls “the absurd.” Camus claims that there is a fundamental conflict between what we want from the universe (whether it be meaning, order, or reasons) and what we find in the universe (formless chaos). We will never find in life itself the meaning that we want to find. Either we will discover that meaning through a leap of faith, by placing our hopes in a God beyond this world, or we will conclude that life is meaningless.”

I wonder if the Artist and Creative are “The Myth of Mnemosyne”: The duality paradox of the Artist.

Mnemosyne was the mother of the 9 Muses: Calliope (epic poetry), Clio (history), Euterpe (music), Erato (lyric poetry), Melpomene (tragedy), Polyhumnia (hymns), Tersichore (dance), Thalia (comedy) and Urania (astronomy).

Mnemosyne’s creations embody the spectrum of creativity, and the body of artistic vision.

Perhaps it is the Myth of Mnemosyne where there is a fundamental conflict between what we want from art, which is beauty and an orderly, understandable reflection of life, and what we actually find in art, which is so often mysterious, confusing and even upsetting.

Will we ever find in art, itself, the meaning of what we want to find?  Is the purpose of art to placate the audience, or to be an artistic reflection of the audience?

Either we will discover that artistic meaning through a leap of faith, by placing our hopes in the Artist and Creative, or we will conclude that art is meaningless.

And that is the conclusion that so many of us have reached: that the confusing and upsetting art is meaningless, and therefore the Artist and Creative are meaningless in society.

I wonder though…if we cannot stretch our faith to understand the art just a little more.  Can we help our young Artists and Creatives create meaningful art, and give meaning to their talent?  Or are they stuck on the lonely journey up the mountain by themselves?

As an Artistic and Creative parent, I can tell you that I am very interested in being the Sherpa for my Artistic and Creative children.

I wonder if we could train other Sherpas, as well, for other children?

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mnemosyne)

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Camus)

Father’s Day: Go Big, Or Go Home

Okay, here is my idea:

My husband doesn’t really want much for Father’s Day, but I really want to honor him for the amazing father he is.  So, you gotta think about not entirely what he wants, but more about what you can get away with 😉

I am thinking that if I have a Comic Book themed day, maybe it would work!

Here are my plans, and here are the materials so you can seamlessly pull this off!

1) I want to turn the living room into a comic book instead of giving him a card.

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Here is the general layout, from my mad photoshopping skillz.

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A little bit of a better layout idea for the wall

Continue reading “Father’s Day: Go Big, Or Go Home”