Dad/Grandpa is visiting.
BBL 😉
Author: Tamarah Rockwood
Wife of Ben, mother of 5, laundry denier, writer, reader, hermit and lover of learning, hater of tupperware parties.
Are we doing the Thursday weigh-in?
Because I have seriously been working on this, and I finally have something to show.
FI.NAL.LY.
There is a group of mothers I talk with online (I hesitate to say “mother’s group” because that isn’t what it is, exactly, per the nomenclature), and a few weeks ago we decided to do a Thursday weigh-in. No judging, no condemnation, no recipe suggestions, no snarky comments. We are all working on this for ourselves, and we are all going to be supportive and awesome to each other. Those are the rules.
I do weigh more than a duck, for the record.
So, after watching this thread for a few weeks, I get on board. 198.
Another week of 198.
Then 2 weeks ago I was 198 again. I was there for a long time, and it is at least 10 pounds more than last Fall before I found out we were moving. So I work on it, I’m thinking about the Thursday weigh- in…and last week I was 200 (shakes tiny fist).
Okay, FOR SERIOUS THIS TIME.
This week I have made smoothies for myself. I bought freaking kale (KALE) and figured out how to cook it correctly (it was actually a grocer at Safeway who told me, because I was bugging her about “what is this” questions). I haven’t been snacking. I haven’t been eating chips. I actually cut beer out… Yay me! Anyway, more veggies, more smoothies, less snacking, much less emotional eating (thanks to much less emotional turmoil), although I did make myself a gluten free baked macaroni and cheese on Tuesday, which was kind of amazing.
And this morning I am 196 🙂
whew
10 Tips For California Imports
There is a large exodus from California to the Pacific Northwest right now, and we are in the middle of it.
Some people are moving because the economy in California is atrocious, some are moving because of the culture and government, some are moving because it is more affordable up here…
We had a pretty simple reason, and we moved because of employment. Pretty straightforward and uncomplicated.
However, we keep running into people from California…everywhere we go. From the cashier at Costco who grew up in Hayward, to the lady at the beach who has grandkids in the Central Valley, to the Mormon missionaries that visited the other day and who grew up in Redwood City.
I will say, the nice thing about moving up here from California is that the culture isn’t too terribly different. It isn’t anything like moving from SanFrancisco to NewOrleans, or from Sacramento to NewHampshire. Those would be pretty radical differences. No, CA to WA hasn’t been too big of a difference, all in all: yet, there are a few things we have had to change.
10 Tips of Washington Island Transitioning For California Imports
1. Stop Calling Seattle “The City.”
If you are from the SanFrancisco area, you will call SanFrancisco “The City.” “I’m going to The City today for a meeting,” “We are meeting some friends in The City this weekend to go to the zoo.” Seattle is not The City, and no one around here calls it The City. Yet, we have found ourselves calling it The City frequently because that is what we are used to. This is Seattle. Not SanFrancisco.
2. You are not allowed to say that “winters/spring aren’t so wet/bad as I thought!”
while you are experiencing the warmest winter/spring in record history. Until you realize you haven’t shaved your legs as a source of warmth since November, you haven’t actually experienced a normal winter/spring.
3. Flashlights are now a must-have item.
Your iPhone flashlight can’t handle the absolute, unconditional darkness that you will encounter here on the island. Sure, during the day it is sunny and light (for the most part), but once the sun begins to set, the faint glow of hope from your iPhone is positively useless. Save it for trying to find your socks in the middle of the night, or navigating up the stairs at dusk. But walking outside requires military-grade, LED, “I think I found a portal into space” flashlights.
4. Please don’t ask your grocery clerk on which aisle the pot can be found.
Just don’t.
5. Starbucks withdrawal is real.
Fortunately, locals can, and will, help you not only find cafe’s in your neighborhood, but you can also start rediscovering coffee drinks, other than skinny caramel macchiatos! I am googling names like “Canadiana” while in line, these days, so it looks like I know the vaguest thing about coffee, anymore. However, you will find yourself falling in love with coffee houses all over again. Besides, the coffee houses up here also have alcohol. Just sayin’.
6. The Wheels On The Bus… Go To Your House
Yes, you, too, can ride the bus! Bus and public transit in CA is a terrible, terrible waste. I rode the bus once when I was a sophomore in high school, in a small town. It took me all over the small town, it took 4 hours, and it finally dropped me off to the bus stop I began with in the first place. That is how I remember CA bus systems. Now, granted, the MUNI system in SanFrancisco is very helpful. But for the rest of us 8,000,000 people who lived in the Bay Area and didn’t live in SF, the bus systems weren’t helpful.
Here, though, they are amazing. They are clean, they are friendly, they are accessible…and they actually take you to where you need to go! This has been a big transition for us, because riding the bus is just not part of our lifestyle. Or, at least, it wasn’t. Now that we have actually used the buses over here, and don’t waste two hours making ridiculous trips to places we don’t need to go, and actually get to our destinations in a very reasonable amount of time…we, too, can ride the bus!
7. The weather is going to mess with you, in ways you never expected.
Yes, it is colder and overcast more often here than in the Bay Area, and especially more than the Central Valley (I will never miss Central Valley summers for as long as I live). So far I haven’t found it to be too much of a factor on my moods, which is nice. Running out of coffee at 7 in the morning has had a much bigger impact on my moods. However, I have found that my ability to rely on the sun to help me out with little things…is gone.
Let me ‘splain: I was doing yardwork in the forest the other day, and I was wearing my BOGS boots. I took them off and left them next to the garage door. The next morning, while it was lightly raining, I noticed they were still there, and now were drenched in the cleansing PNW rain. Well, no harm, right? I mean, I can just leave them on the covered porch, and they’ll dry out in a little while.
Nope. I used to leave wet things out in the CA sun, and they would be dry within an hour. Easily. But here, the temperature doesn’t get high enough to evaporate the water. It is stuck at “dew point” all day, so I had to place the boots on top of the dryer to let them finally dry out.
Also: defrosting chicken. I used to be able to put a frozen chicken on my patio table for a little while, and the sun would gently thaw it for me. No more of that! I could put a frozen chicken outside, and it would still be frozen tomorrow. If anything, I’d have frustrated coyotes or eagles gnawing on frozen chicken behind my house, and that does not sound like a good time. For either of us.
I don’t even know if Sun Tea would work out here…
8. The “Seattle Freeze” is a big fat lie.
I was warned about the “Seattle Freeze” before we moved up here, and I honestly don’t know where it is. I have looked for it in parks, on the beaches, in cafe’s, restaurants, random people walking their dogs…
Every person I have talked to has been not only friendly, but helpful, inviting and just plain nice. We have played with every kid we meet in the parks, and the parents have been consistently amiable.
Urban Dictionary says the Seattle Freeze is, “It’s not that people here are unfriendly, they will hold the door for you and wave you into traffic and stuff like that, it’s that everything is maddeningly impersonal. The attitude is “have a nice day, somewhere else”. It’s easy to get along but making friends is almost impossible. People will say they want to hang out with you sometime and look at you like a freak when you actually suggest something. People enthusiastically say they are coming to a party then don’t show up. People are flaky and hard to pin down.”
But you know what? Even if one day, at some point the Seattle Freeze actually happens, and everyone I meet is suddenly super flaky and all of a sudden I can’t make any friends…it is nothing compared to the California Cliques, which has always grated at my very soul. That is a whole rant-blog, in itself.
9. When does the puddle in your front yard actually become a pond?
Because it has been here ever since we moved in, and we are thinking about adding frogs and just turning it into our own little frog pond.
10. No one else is actually from here, either.
So…hey! 🙂
Time To Read: Top 5 Poems On My Reading List
If you thought I would have a reading list with zero poetry books on it…you are wrong, my friend!
Instead, I have a whole list dedicated JUST FOR POETRY.
I am so excited about some of these, I am freaking out because I can’t find my iPad cable to charge it (it is Dead McDeaderson) and thus am unable to upload some of these onto my Kindle app.
Which means I am going to have to wait. And that kind of isn’t the point of ebooks. Waiting.
Honestly, I have already ordered Tracy K. Smith’s new book, because I am a ridiculous fangirl of her work and I had no idea she had another book coming out, and I am furiously excited.
Case in point: this is a picture of my desk right now.
I am still studying Life on Mars, because it is amazing. I can’t even imagine another book of hers with this level of poetry. If I ever wrote anything even remotely close to the work in Life on Mars, I would just hang my poetry hat up and call it a day. That is as good as it gets, my friends. I am done for the rest of my life, because it was that good.
But no: she writes another.
(you should get it too)
On to the list!
1) Ordinary Light: A memoir
Time To Read: Top 5 Books On My Reading List
Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in the meadow that is my front yard, and sharing a nice, warm cup of green tea with little Eve. We were watching our tomcat prowl through the grass to find a nice, sunny spot on which to nap. A neighbor had a chainsaw running somewhere in the distance. There was a little breeze, but not much got through the woods and we were just watching the tops of the cedars blow gently in the canopy.
I love Sunday afternoons.
There is no day in the week which harbors the afternoon sunlight quite like Sundays.
I spent a good amount of time out there being a good steward of the sun, enjoying the warmth and the green, quiet forest; but I realized….something was missing.
A BOOK.
Now that things have settled into a routine here, I am getting back to small hobbies. Like reading. Yet, I have read all the books I own! What is a girl to do??
I shall make for myself a list!!
Okay, anyone who doesn’t love the movie is crazy with a capital CRAY. However, the book is better…OR SO I HAVE HEARD.
I have never read this book, and it has been on my list for years. Beyond the wonderful story of Buttercup and Wesley, there is a small mystery of this book, which I find delightfully manipulative. The mystery is that the main character of the story references a book he used to read as a child, and now he is going to read it for his grandson. But, if you think this is the book he read as a child, you are very wrong. Goldman actually references a book that never existed. In his book, of a man reading the original book, that doesn’t exist. It’s this funny Inception-book thing, which is hilarious (to me).
So, top of the list: The Princess Bride.
I am so back-logged on Science Fiction, it is embarrassing.
Fortunately, I have most of the big ones under my belt already. Dune, Ender’s Game, Ender’s Shadow, Mists of Avalon, The Firebrand, The Martian Chronicles, 5 pages of Cryptonomicon (I think that counts), 1984, Brave New World, Heinlein, Asimov, Vonnegut…
But there are so many I haven’t read yet. The Foundation series, Discworld, Ringworld…
So, here is one for the list: Ready Player One.
And, in memory of Mr. Pratchett: The Color of Magic.
I also want some contemporary fiction in here, for balance.
I’m rather intrigued by this book, so I’m going to give it a shot. There will always be a draw for me towards books about messy, but not criminally messy, relationships. They are puzzles to be solved, which gives me some meat to chew on while I read. This is a pretty classic “dysfunctional, middle America” American fiction.
Faux-Pax-Americana item: Vinegar Hill.
And finally, another Faux-Pax-Americana book, where the characters set out with hopes and dreams, and are introduced to the realities of insurance, debt, mortgages, trials and hopelessness: The Weight of Dreams
Next month I might switch to lighter subjects with more optimism.
But today is not that day!
The Importance of Defining Water
Today has been full of first-world misadventures.
The mop I bought, to replace previous stolen mop, apparently is held together with a zip tie. And I broke the zip tie.
#brutestrengthmopping
The lightbulb in the laundry room burnt out, and I have been doing laundry in the dark for 2 days.
#deathmetallaundry
Yesterday, I got a call from ADT saying someone broke into the house. Again.
#PANIC
But after calling my realtor, it turns out it was just a guy from insurance.
#relief.
I run things on a flexible agenda around here. There are things we need to accomplish every day, such as school, chores and meals. These are inflexible agenda points that will get done, usually in a certain order and by a certain time. Chores are done before school, and usually before breakfast. Meals are at 8, 12, 3 (teatime) and 7. School includs computer work and textbooks, and both need to be finished every day; either computer work in the morning and textbooks in the afternoon, or vice versa. It just depends on concentration and focus levels, but the structure is in place to accommodate either option.
However, with the amount of things and people in the house, and given the range of ages these people are, there has to be room for flexibility. Sometimes the lightbulbs burn out, and you don’t have time to go to the store for more, so you figure out how to open a liturgy doors and windows in order to get sunlight into dark rooms. Sometimes the mop breaks, and no amount of coercion will convince it to be fixed, so you rediscover shuffling old towels over the floors. Sometimes you wrestle with the dishwasher, and ultimately attempt Socratic arguments with the machine just to get it to wash anything, instead of making the dishes worse. Some mornings the 3 year old will be more clingy than others, so she will be attached to me while we get things done. Some days math takes 3 hours, sometimes it takes half an hour. Sometimes I don’t shower until afternoon, and sometimes…we just need to get out of here, and we go to the beach or for a hike and reset ourselves.
We are only indoor people with the explicit understanding that the option for outdoors is always available and utilized.
Yesterday, I saw a very interesting list.
It said:
Describe these things-
1. Describe the difference between left and right.
2. Explain what your favorite color looks like.
3. Think of a color that doesn’t exist.
4. Describe what water tastes like.
The truth is, describing these things is not the most interesting activity. You aren’t going to unlock a portal into another dimension if you describe what water tastes like. Explaining in detail what a color looks like is actually not the most compelling and engaging exploration of the mind.
Yet, that isn’t entirely the point.
The purpose of this is to explore the journey to get there. It is to see the surrounding landscape that will ultimately lead to the goal, rather than simply define the target.
When I think of the line of vocation I have, being a stay-at-home homeschooling mom, sometimes the landscape starts to blur together around 4pm. By this point in the day, we have been busy working and finishing our lists of items, I have gone through 3 of the 4 set meal times and we all need a break. We need time to rest, play, think, or space out for a while. Given the flexible agenda we have, the biggest obstacle I have during the day is “the goal.”
Most of the time, I see the goal as accomplishing the agenda by the end of the day; at the latest, by 5pm.
Math, reading, spelling, workbooks and computer work must be accomplished.
The kitchen should be tolerably clean, laundry needs to be touched upon, meals need to be made. I don’t like to obsess over the state of the house, but I also need to make it part of the structure of the day to instruct the kids (and myself) to be good stewards of the home.
The part of “the goal” that is the problem is that these aren’t the goal. These are all target items. These are items that are important, but only for the purpose of building, teaching, guiding and encouraging the people involved in accomplishing the target items. All of these target items are variables in the agenda, and can be subject to flexible change.
These are actually the landscape, and the persons engaged are the goal.
The persons who I am instructing are my goal. Not the kitchen, not the laundry. Certainly not how much math or how many library books we have read during the day. The individuals are the goal, and the agenda should reflect how I construct the landscape around them, and myself, in order to raise and grow happy, interested, well-balanced and functioning people. That is the point of the day.
So, when I think of “what water tastes like,” it seems exactly like trying to answer, “how to raise children” or “who am I.” It depends where we are: water in coastal Alaska is significantly different than water in coastal Costa Rica. Similarly, energetic children in the 1st grade will have significantly different needs than thoughtful children in the 5th grade; just as where I am now is significantly different than where I was 5 years, or even 5 months ago. It is just interesting that as a modern woman, and as a mother of 5 kids, you go through the entire day defining and redefining what water tastes like, depending on what hour it is, who you are with, or whether or not you have had afternoon coffee.
Epic Broccoli Salad
I Know I Am Really Pushing Some Culinary Boundaries By Introducing A Broccoli Recipe.
But I Like Living On The Edge.
I am honestly not a big broccoli fan. I don’t like steamed broccoli, I don’t like broccoli in soup, I don’t like broccoli baked in stuff. Broccoli has too bold a flavor to hide it in anything, and steaming it just brings out all the bitter flavors I don’t like.
You know what I do like? Fresh broccoli. Fresh broccoli is fantastic, and it is a vegetable that stands alone in the kitchen. So, what if you made a broccoli salad from fresh broccoli, and didn’t try to hide the flavors with creams or sauces? What if you simply enhanced how good the flavors are, in a beautiful balance?
This broccoli salad is so good, my kids love it. It is so good, I have given it to guests, whom I love. This broccoli salad is so good, my husband likes it. And he isn’t telling me that just because he loves me!
It is that good.
Do not let the incredible simplicity of this dish defy it’s incredible taste. The flavors and textures are a perfect balance of sweet and savory, crunchy and juicy. This isn’t your old-fashioned plate of overly steamed broccoli: this is a dish you could use weekly and not get tired of it.
This is also a really easy recipe with zero cooking involved, so you can throw this together as fast as your hands can move.
Bonus!!
What you’ll need:
- About 4 cups of broccoli florets (or more, or less, depending on the size of your eating company)
- 1 can of sliced black olives
- 1/2 cup of diced cheddar cheese
- kosher salt, ground pepper, a little parsley
- 1/2 c olive oil
- a variable amount of balsamic vinegar…I tend to over do this one. Because I love it.
What you’re going to do:
Wash the broccoli florets and put them in a big mixing bowl.
Pour the olive oil over the top of it and toss gently.
Sprinkle on 3 fat pinches of kosher salt, grind pepper on top and add 1 fat pinch of parsley, then toss.
Now add the diced cheddar and olives and toss gently.
Then pour about 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar on top and put it in the fridge to chill a bit.
This is a very easy side recipe, and a fantastic compliment for any dish.
It is also loaded with great vitamins that can come in super handy during the flu season: 3.5oz of broccoli has 2.82g Protein, Vitamin C 89.2mg (1 orange has 70mg of Vitamin C, for comparison’s sake), Magnesium 21mg, Potassium 316mg.
Come With Me, Paul. Come See The Joy In The World.
Ah, April Fool’s Day.
It used to be one of my favorite holidays.
The world kind of steps back for a moment, lets itself laugh for a day, and everyone smiles together.
How can you not love that?
Except in their old age, I have found a lot of people lost their humor in the glovebox of their first car, and who knows where it is now. No more laughing at silly things, no more glitter bombs, no more sleight-of-hand-misdirection. Just a lot of grumps.
Which is a shame.
For instance, there is a very grumpy journalist named Paul Tassi over at Forbes who not only dislikes April 1st, but he has some harsh words for the day:
“The Internet Has Murdered April Fools’ Day“
“As I sit here staring at my screen, trying to bring myself to write yet another round-up of all the “zany” April Fools’ Day stories in the gaming industry, I just can’t do it. I hate April 1st, and I hate it more than ever since I became a journalist.
Perhaps that’s misguided, as today is practically a national holiday for anyone who makes their living reporting on news online. The internet is awash with a literal flood of jokes, and everyone from tech giants to random blogs is determined to get in on the action. Congress could declare war on Iran this afternoon and everyone would just laugh it off. No actual news is allowed to happen today, that’s just how it works.
I’m not trying to be the fun police here, but after about a decade of this, I think we can all admit that the internet has effectively taken this “holiday” and beaten it to death with such fervor all the other months are cringing in horror…”
Good heavens, man! Cheer up! Look around! There is still sunshine in the sky, birds in the trees and joy in the air! The world has not fallen upon its sword! Oh, sure. The Internet has hoaxes, and spoofs and downright bad humor… every day. But today is different. Today is special.
Come. Come Paul. Let me show you.
1) Google Maps
made PacMan out of their maps for us for April 1st! Thank you Google Maps!!!!
This is London, UK. I think I love seeing PacMan getting stuck in the RoundAbout far too much.
2) Slashdot
has always been one of my favorite sites on April 1st. I remember one time, many many moons ago, they jumped the shark and made the site for girls…and the whole thing was PONIES! and glitter, and sparkling lights….and it was AWESOME. That was the best day in Slashdot history, in my book. I remember vividly their big, balloon-animal fonts and pink hued website for the day. Buuutttt, I can’t imagine they could get away with that again. Too many angry women who don’t love ponies (they are lying to themselves, they love ponies).
These are the kinds of articles on Slashdot today. I love this stuff 🙂 A Coup in Arrakis Capitol. Classic.
3) Reddit
is…Reddit. So there is weird, random stuff there every day. I wasn’t sure if there was going to be anything worthwhile left for today, but there was!
There is an AMA with a Toaster, which is pretty nice.
4) Gmail is bringing back Snail Mail
5) MineCraft: Now With Love
They rewrote the whole page, and it is kind of hard to summarize…but, basically, they made everything positive. Instead of killing “monsters”, you share the world with “inhabitants.” No more hunger. No more pain. Now you have a love meter. And the animals are different now:
Animals
- Bats are now 20% cuter. Squeek.
- Chickens can now be ridden by any player less than two blocks tall.
- Cows will now alert you to important events that you may have missed by means of an audible notification.
- Pigs can no longer fly, but can now climb on walls.
- Rabbits are fluffy.
- Sheep will, if asked nicely, share their wool to keep you warm.
- Squid changed, but we’re still trying to figure out how or why.
Squids are always changing the game on us.
So, there you go, Paul. The world isn’t so gloomy and grumpy as you think 🙂
Go, and enjoy the day.
#pieintheface
Let Me Tell You About The Time When I Tried To Visit My Neighbors And Got Lost In The Forest…
I know.
The title is long.
However.
The title isn’t nearly as long as my trip through the forest this weekend.
It all began with a dream.
The dream of an official housewarming party.
A week ago, I ordered lovely purple invitations with matching thank you cards and stylish envelopes and purple address stickers.
Oh yes, my friends. I stepped it up for this event.
I figured, since we were going to be here for the rest of our lives, because this is the most beautiful place on the face of the earth, and I am enamored with the idea of living here, and dumbfounded by the fact that I am allowed to actually live here, I wanted to do things right from the very beginning.
The first step was getting the invitations, so I ordered official paper invitations with purple celtic designs and RSVP phone numbers, and the whole deal. They are beautiful, and friendly and darn near professional. I was very impressed with myself, quite frankly.
The next step was simply to deliver them to my neighbors. This is where things got tricky.
Now, if you have been following along, the fact is that we do live in a forest. So our “neighbors” are far and few between. But, I figured it would be best if I hand delivered the invitations so I could put a face to a name before anyone showed up to the party. Besides, you also have to figure that people who move to a forest aren’t people who are particularly interested in extroverted events, such as parties. We enjoy our solitude among the cedars, the silence of the forest and a decent amount of isolation at the ends of our ginormously long driveways.
Speaking of driveways…
In terms of length, our driveway really isn’t that bad. It is a little walk across the land, and the length and width of it is all dirt, twigs and moss. Yet, you can still see the street from the top of our little hill. That, in our neighborhood, is at least something.
Other driveways along this road are not only a little long, but longer to the point that I had to pull up Google Earth and use the scale to find out exactly how long they actually were. You certainly can’t see the houses from the road, nor from the middle of their driveway. It isn’t until you are within a stones throw of the house when you see the mossy roofs peek out from behind the blooming Japanese Maple trees which veil these inhabitants from the world.
I began my journey to deliver my enveloped, official housewarming invitations on late Saturday afternoon and I did not return until well after dinner time.
I set out with three children, a stack of envelopes and a vision. A vision that meeting people hidden in the woods was not only a good idea, but an extraordinarily fantastic idea which I should carry out. Me, and my ridiculously introverted self, would go boldly forth to bond with my neighbors on this island as we hide ourselves from the modern world.
Phase 1: We began with easy targets…I mean neighbors. The houses flanking us are relatively close, with equally sized driveways. We accomplished these two houses with ease, and with zero human interaction.
Phase 2: The houses that supposedly were across the road from us, although we had never actually seen the houses. We began down the first very lengthy driveway. Down a straight, around a bend, over a little hill, another bend and then suddenly…the mossy rooftops. I looked at this house, which was clearly from a John Grisham novel, that overlooked the water with giant storm windows letting us look straight through the belly of the house into the churning, grayish waters that lay on the other side. The forest was silent and the sky was layered with thin sheets of fog, which loomed over us until dusk.
This house was way out of my league. I don’t know what I was even doing, standing on their doorstep with my flimsy purple invitations quivering in my hands.
My eldest had already rung the doorbell, and there was a thin, shaky, slightly older man who came to the door. Confusion was across his face, staring at the wandering troupe who disturbed his John Grisham home.
“Hi! I’m Tamarah, and we just moved into the green house across the street. We are having a housewarming party in a few weeks, and we would love it if you were able to come!” I said, as confident as a wolf, as I held out my invitation to him.
Please take the invitation.
“It’s nice to meet you! I’m Tim. Oh, you just moved in? To the old Feally’s home?”
“Yes, we have been there for a month and I didn’t want to wait too long until I met our neighbors.” Big, friendly smile.
“That sounds lovely! I look forward to coming! Thank you for walking all the way down here to drop this off!”
“Wonderful! We will see you then!”
I swear, on all my stack of original Nancy Drew books, that is exactly how the conversation went.
With a bolster in my step, I walked all the way down the mossy driveway back to our road. And on to the next extremely long driveway.
And the next extremely long driveway.
And…the…next….extremely…long…driveway.
By this time, two of the three children had fallen away and retired back to our house. I couldn’t blame them at all; we had already visited two beaches and hiked at a lake, all on our island, earlier in the day, so we were a little worn out before then. It was just me and my oldest, keeping the journey, and the dream, alive.
However, at this point we were tired, too, and were standing at the doorstep of an empty house and wondering how many more houses there were to visit…when suddenly…
We spotted a little trail that cut through the forest. This little trail joined these houses together! What luck!!
We hurried across the little trail and cut through the forest to the next house.
And the next house.
And the next house.
By the time we had reached June and Victor’s house, we were almost out of invitations; but we had met so many of our very friendly neighbors, it was exciting! I spent time being invited in and given email addresses, and hearing about the history of the neighborhood, and what they do and what we do. Despite my original hesitation for this venture, it was becoming amazingly successful!
We approached June and Victor’s house with ease, and explained our housewarming party ideas and we would love to see them there.
“Where do you live?”
“We live in the green house a little down from the mailboxes. In the old Feally’s house.”
“The green house…?”
“..Yes…it is next to the mailboxes. When you go down the road, and turn right…”
“Turn right…? How…did you get here? Did you walk all the way down the driveway to get here?”
I explained how we had originally gone down many driveways already, until we found the little path that cut through the woods. And that was our brilliant plan, and how we got to their house so quickly!
Her husband was listening from the other room, and came in to see us in person. Both of them began chuckling. And then they began laughing.
“Well, I don’t know where the green house is on your street…because you aren’t on your street anymore! …Do you know where you are?”
Suddenly, I didn’t. I was simply going down driveways to deliver invitations to our neighbors…wasn’t I?
Not only were they not our neighbors, but we were on a street a mile away from my house.
That’s right folks. A mile away from my house. In another forest. On another street. They had never even driven down my road in the whole 20-something years they had lived there.
I can’t even begin to tell you how pleasant they were. Victor got out his iPad, and we charted out what happened on Google Maps. I showed him where we lived (“I live in this clump of trees”) and he showed me where they lived, and where we were (“We live in these clump of trees”). June was extremely helpful and walked me over to her neighbors house, to make sure I actually got there, and said I needed to talk with her because she actually had a neighborhood network already in place, and I should get connected with her. After that (she wasn’t home, but I got to meet her very friendly husband), I got out my iPhone to plot a course on the map to get home.
Ugh. All the way back up to the main road, then over the main road, then down my road, turn…and three doors down and I was home.
We were a little tempted to call Ben and have him pick us up by then. Our little journey had already taken an hour and a half, and I was more than tired. Plus, we were losing sunlight rapidly and there are no streetlights out in our neck of the woods.
We began walking, again, farther down the road. I was dreading the walk, just because it would take so long and I was walking in thick wellies. My feet were killing me.
As luck would have it, I actually recognized the woods we were coming upon…we had actually cut across these woods before, on another day, and I knew the other side led to our street! We had to chance it: into the woods we went.
I love those woods because they are quiet, peaceful, and there is a random meadow with gigantic sheep in the middle of it. I love those sheep. They look downright confused when they are approached by people interfering with their sheeping activities. Slowly, they each walk over to the fence and stare at us. They softly pat their hooves on the ground as they track us passing by their meadow. They have nearly inaudible bleats between themselves, trying to figure out where we came from, until off we go on our merry way, leaving those poor, confused sheep to their sheeping business.
Now, at this point you would think the story would be over. You would think that we would walk across these woods and find the end of our road, and go home with an amusing story to tell.
You would think that, as we thought that.
Until we discovered an old man tending a huge bonfire in the middle of the woods, all by himself.
I don’t know what would happen, but if I was that man, I would wonder why two people just appeared at his isolated bonfire out of nowhere. I need to disarm this situation, right quick.
“I am sure there are more orthodox ways of introducing ourselves,” I begin, “but we are at a loss at the moment to those ways.”
(That is really what I said. In real life.)
His name is Keith, and he is the father of Neil. He is just visiting from Japan, and after listening to our journey, which he thought to be quite amusing, he directed us to the house to meet his daughter-in-law, Linda.
I met her and her husband, and was invited inside to partake in homegrown chicken eggs and freshly canned jam to take home, got to witness their Roomba and listen to their 3 little kids having a very boisterous bath time upstairs, led by grandma. They told me about things they discovered on the island, and how wonderful it has been living there.
We gave our last invitation to Linda and Neil, whom I am thoroughly looking forward to getting to know better, and headed back home.
It was a long trip, but it was such an interesting trip. What astonishes me is how all these very different people can live hidden away in the forest, and I got to have the delight of meeting them all on my rambling, mossy, lost-in-the-woods adventure.
It is amazing what I find behind these trees, all the time.
The Platypus Directive 