This article originally appeared on Ravishly.
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What Monday Morning Looks Like For A SAHM…In The Summer
You had it all planned out last night as you were falling asleep, that you were finally going to be that mom who woke up at 6am…just to get in her morning jog. Or stretching. Something more physical than stumbling down the stairs towards the coffee pot.
Ahh, summer is here and the air is ripe with possibilities.
Should you go to the beach today? Is today a picnic at the park kind of day? Should you stay home and finish projects all day? Are you going to get the kids decked out in overalls and bandanas and finally clean the garage? Or a closet? Or something?
Summer is your oyster. And you spent all Sunday night laying in bed thinking of how you were going to grab that oyster by the horns, and ride it into something substantial. Heck, by the end of Monday, you could be finished with a million things! A bazillion, if you really stuck to the list!
Unfortunately, this is what Monday morning really looks like:
1. Your Alarm Has No Power Here
Well, for one, you forgot to charge your phone last night.
Two, see those two alarms? 6am and 7am. You were going to wake up well before the kids got up, and you were going to make a pot of coffee and finish all your reading, lounging, emails and catching up on your Daily Mail and CDAN gossip. You had it all planned out last night as you were falling asleep, that you were finally going to be that mom who woke up at 6am…just to get in her morning jog. Or stretching. Something more physical than stumbling down the stairs towards the coffee pot.
But today is not that morning. For verily, the 6am alarm went off…and then the 7am alarm went off. And you finally got to the coffee pot at 8am.
2. Your Trello List Is Already Behind Schedule
You really, seriously wanted this week to be different!
Last night before you crashed into bed, after staying awake for most of “Halt and Catch Fire,” and watching Donna lose her marbles and Joe getting stuck in the basement of data entry (he kinda had it coming to him)…and Gordon was doing cocaine? WTH? Anyway, you didn’t fall asleep through the end, like last week, and you took it as a sign that this was when you were going to get the ship back on track.
Except you are already 2 hours behind, so forget it. You’re drinking your coffee in your green flannel pjs without a bra, and the kids can have toast and bananas for breakfast. (tomorrow you’ll make cinnamon waffles….tomorrow….)
3. If You Homeschool, You’re Still Doing School
We’re just kind of doing it…loosely, during the summer. But you have always had these grand plans of taking care of extra-curricular subjects over the summer.
What if we really buckled down and did German on Duolingo, or focused on piano finally? An art lesson every morning? Yes!!
Except you are freaked out about handwriting and writing composition, so in reality you are going to keep working on that.
4. Summer Programs Are Freaking Expensive
I would love to utilize more summer programs for the kids. Lego camp? Horse riding camp? Nature camp? AWESOME CAMP.
Except that these babies are running ~$200, for a few hours per day, for one week. For one kid. Who of us have more than one? Anyone else have 5?
$1000 for one week of part-time Lego camp is not really in our budget.
I could buy and entire fleet of Legos and build a scaled model of Middle Earth for that amount of money. Plus, that is only one week out of the whole summer. You still have to figure out what to do with the rest of the 11 weeks that doesn’t cost thousands of dollars.
Like the beach…maybe we need to find our bathing suits and sunscreen after breakfast.
5. By 10am, You Don’t Know If You Are Genuinely Excited About Life…
or if you have just put too many sugar cubes in your 5th cup of coffee.
One of many.
The Platypus Directive 