Last night I had a really weird dream.  I dreamt that I was married to Ben…but we weren’t married, all along.  No reason why.  So we were going to have a wedding, to finally “officially” be married.  And I got cold feet and stood him up.  I have no idea why.  But we still stay together for another 8 years, and we decide we are going to have a wedding, for serious this time.  This time he calls me while I am standing on the altar and says he got cold feet…but he’ll meet me at home.

I was okay with this, and I just go home.  And we go along with life as normal.

This dream just rattled around in my head all morning because it was weird.  I mean, obviously weird.  But the dream felt very normal, which was even more weird.

The feeling I had at the end was that I was confused how we had been going through all the right steps of being married, and all this time we weren’t actually married.

The thing that is confusing me the most is it doesn’t feel like this dream was about me and Ben.  It was about something else, and I have to figure out what it is.

 

“To dream of a marriage signifies commitment, harmony or transitions. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life.  The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself.”

 

“To see or attend a wedding in your dream symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. A wedding reflects your issues about commitment and independence. Alternatively, your wedding dream refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Such dreams are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. If you dream that the wedding goes wrong or ends in disaster, then it suggests that you need to address some negativity immediately.”

 

There is definitely something going on here, and I just need to figure it out.

Something is going on in my head that I am working on, and right now it is just confusing.

Trust me, there is a lot more happening over here than just pygmy goats and laundry.  I just haven’t figured it out, yet.

 

 

This has been a long week.

Homeschooling is hard enough, but homeschooling a child with dyslexia is even harder.

I can teach one of my kids anything on earth, and they are indeed the “sponge” that people talk about.  They learn and do their work, and advance just fine.  No problems.

But dyslexia is like trying to nail a wet sponge to jello.  Some of it will stick.  Most of it will slide off.  You will spend 99% of your time reteaching the same lesson every day, until enough of it sticks so it actually resembles a sponge stuck to jello.  A little bit.  Enough of it.

It becomes the weeks of years.

Every day you try to teach them their lessons.  But the day just never ends, and at the end of it you have made no progress.  So you try again tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the week is over, and you think…with as much optimism as you can muster…that maybe, hopefully, some of the sponge has stuck to the jello.

But another week goes by, and you wonder how this is ever going to work.  You have tried countless curriculums, schedules, methods…but the truth of the matter is, your kid just has to do the work.  And some days, that is agonizing.

You read “success stories” about Ansel Adams, who was thrown out of countless private schools and finally homeschooled by his exasperated parents, who just wanted him to learn something.  Anything.  And finally, he found the passion of photography and music and self-propelled himself into a career.

“When words become unclear, I shall turn to photographs,” Adams said.

 

What are you going to do.

 

Homeschooling websites aren’t entirely helpful.

“Time to get the wiggles out! Dance party, outside time etc.” ~Maggie

“Take a break from “school”. Learning happens in many ways and it doesn’t have to look like “school”. Find what their interests are and pursue that.” ~ Ginny

 

Honestly, how are these answers?  If they don’t do their work, have a dance party?

Are you serious?

“Find what their interests are and pursue that…”  This is just the dumbest response.  I need my kids to learn math.  Not get a degree in Nintendo.  Honestly..

 

Anyway, the week is almost over and I am hoping we can finish something that resembles progress.

 

Maybe then I will stop having weird, prophetic dreams.

And I will raise my children to be smart, successful, productive members of society who go to college and have families of their own and live happy lives.

BUT RIGHT NOW LETS JUST FOCUS ON OUR MATH, SHALL WE.