Parentology During The Holidays: Holiday Foods. Nailed It.

Those who know me…I mean, really know me…know that I suck at baking.

I don’t know what happens in my normally useful kitchen and competent brain when I start baking.  Everything just unmercifully falls apart.

Normally, I am a great cook.  I mean, heck, my first blog was for my recipes at Tamarah.org

Screenshot 2014-12-10 11.28.30

Come for the gluten free kids’ recipes, stay for the “20 Shades of Quinoa“!

Honestly, I just started that blog because I kept losing recipes I liked, and I was sick of the struggle.  I was tired of misplacing recipes, or forgetting which book they were in.  A blog has them all in one place!  BooYa!!

Now, I am no PioneerWoman BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION.  I try to organize the food so it looks nice in the photos, but I have crappy lighting and one or two really nice plates (for the most part).  So I don’t take Tamarah.org very seriously – it’s just for me, and if anyone is interested in the recipes, that’s totally cool.

So I feel pretty free to declare that I am not in the Competitive Food Business.

The holidays are competitive enough as it is: why would you go out of your way to make it harder??

Like these people.  Thanks guys.

1) Make An Olaf Pancake!

Are you kidding me.  An olaf pancake.  I’m happy if they are round.  End of pancake.

 

2) Make A Gourmet Christmas Cake!

1-christmas-cake

9776Christmas_Cake561credit…because this is not my cake.

 Cakes are not my strong point.

Cooking?  Yes.  Baking?  No.

I know I’m showing my hand here, but case in point…this was the last cake I made:

Screenshot 2014-12-10 09.23.19

The way a good friend of mine put it: “It looks like a boob.”

I wouldn’t say that about the cake, myself. The baker though…very much, after this mess.

(The problem is I ran out of eggs and used egg replacer instead, and it fell apart.  And some other problems. Like gravity.)

3. Gingerbread Houses.

2007-11-21-ging

Nope.

amanda-jean%2Bf.owned.gingerbread%2Bhouse%2B1

What

gingerbread-optimus-primeOh come on!

I’m sure I have some resentment that my architectural skillz consist of getting 2 pieces of graham crackers to stand up at all…but honestly. If I got my house to even look remotely like this box, it would be monumental:

2104-1509_m

4) Appetizers.

11047af368332ac27090f5807da69421How is that going to stay up…?

article_image-image-article.0d4e71bb-e0e6-400b-8b11-5606fff175c8Braaaaiiiiinnnnnssss……

a65f854d16bb3ffaccf400fcec379675I kind of like this idea…

5) If you don’t have a “Nailed It” moment this Christmas, you just aren’t trying hard enough.

Listen, some people love to bake. Some people actually know what they are doing (and aren’t completely impatient) with crafts.

But if you haven’t “Nailed It” at least once, you just aren’t living life to its fullest.

With the biggest flops come the largest laughs…and laughter is the reason for the season, amiright?

Pintrosity. For the rest of us.

hilarious-pinterest-fails-20hilarious-pinterest-fails-21

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