So, today has been a long day.
My husband is across the country speaking at a convention, and I’m home with our 5 kids.
All in all, things have gone great! No huge melt-downs, people are still on schedule (for the most part).
I’ve been doing loads and loads of laundry trying to catch up, the kitchen is pretty clean, the bathrooms are clean, martial arts for the older students, martial arts for the younger student, Awanas, prayer group, did a Target run one day and a Costco run this morning, the summer garden has been ripped out and harvested, the garage was cleaned and reorganized (amazingly), I sewed myself a new skirt, have been cooking, taking care of the kids, kept up with homeschooling, tended the dogs, cats and chickens….
What I still have to do is: fold all this beautiful, clean laundry, mop, carpet clean, clean the kitchen (again), two more martial arts days, a birthday party, clean the backyard of chicken poop, and maybe get some writing in.
During this week, I have been feeling something a little off though:
My uterus is twitching.
I thought it was gas for a few days, but it kept twitching. And I didn’t have gas. After two days, I was trying to feel around on my belly to see what was going on, but I couldn’t feel anything.
I finally googled it, because I honest to goodness took a pregnancy test.
That’s how twitchy my uterus is right now.
What I discovered was that the muscles inside the uterus cause cramping, but the muscles on the outside can twitch and you can feel it. They tend to start twitching when you have increased anxiety, have a load of stress on you, or are overworking yourself.
So there you have it. I am overworking myself to the extent that my uterus is flipping out.
Now that the kids have all gone to bed, and before I settle into bed with a little glass of craft beer, here are 10 ways you know you need to rest:
1. You can’t remember if you took a shower on Monday or Tuesday, but today is Thursday.
2. While sorting laundry you start to think about what to make for dinner, and settle on spaghetti…when all of a sudden, the “h” in spaghetti starts to annoy you. Same with Margherita. Stupid h.
3. You’ve had leftovers for 3 days…and have kind of lost track of what they were actually left over from at this point.
4. You just watched 25 minutes of Yo Gabba Gabba. The kids went to bed over an hour ago.
5. Your back is so tense, you walk like Batman around the house.
6. You have a crazy idea to take some (tame) pictures for your husband, but after locking yourself in the bathroom you get distracted cleaning the baseboards with Q-tips for the rest of the evening.
7. You walk outside to take the trash out and the sun startles you. Mostly because you forgot it was still up.
8. You aren’t sure if the radio is on, or if the ringing in your ears has taken a mamba rhythm.
9. You walk into the bathroom, and there are cotton balls and Q-tips all over the floor, along with the kitty litter and the last clean towel. You grab your toothbrush and use the kitchen sink, instead.
10. Your uterus is twitching.
Now that you know you need to stop, since your freaking uterus is twitching, here are 5 things you can do to relax!
1. Get out of those clothes, woman!! Put on an old shirt, or your husband’s biggest shirt. No bras allowed.
2. Make yourself something nice to eat. Lay off the junk….until after you’ve eaten something with protein. Those are the rules.
3. You are going to need to hydrate before you have a beer or wine. Have 2 glasses of water for every cup of alcohol you have.
4. Rent a movie. Rent a movie you will like, more specifically. This will force you to sit, and maybe even recline.
5. If you must continue to think about work and all the things you did not get to today….just make a list. Then you won’t forget about them tomorrow!
For those who might be concerned, my uterus stopped twitching after I spent 30 minutes in bed with my cats sleeping on me while we started watching a House marathon. Score!