Raising Artists & Creatives: Why are you up there in the first place?

Why are you up there in the first place?

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During a conversation once, I talked with a friend about making the leap into “doing” instead of “watching” a while ago, and this was her story:

“One day, when I lived near a lake, I was hanging with a group of friends at a swim hole, when we found a freaky rope swing that could get you about 20 feet of air before landing in the water.

All of them were enthusiastic to risk it and use it, while I, being the sheepish lady I tend to be, hesitated when it was my turn to go. 

I sat there for one minute…then five minutes….then 10 minutes with the rope in my hands, shaking, finding every reason not to go, taking my sweet time, when one of my friends shouts:

“The more you think about it, the longer it will take. The longer it takes, the more you will find reasons to not go. Why are you up there in the first place? Because you want to go! Don’t be a bastard, just GO.”

Continue reading “Raising Artists & Creatives: Why are you up there in the first place?”

Raising Artists & Creatives: The Myth of Mnemosyne

The Myth of Mnemosyne

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Last year I took our foster lab to the vet to get neutered.

It was dark and early in the morning, well before I am usually coherent, and the waiting room had a couple other dogs anxiously pacing and barking on leashes.  There was one tiny dog, some chihuahua breed, that just had it in for my lab.  He was barking up a storm and trying to escape his handlers, and probably making them pretty happy that his procedure was finally happening.  My dog, who was about 70 pounds by then, was terrified of this chihuahua and was trying to crawl underneath my legs for protection.  Little did he know what he was actually there for…I don’t think he would have been as trusting.

The funny thing is, there were a number of ladies there with cages that had large towels and blankets draped over them.  I didn’t know if they were catching raccoons or beavers or what at that hour, but it looked like they all had been tromping around in the dirt before they got here.  One lady had wild blond hair, rolled up faded, turquoise sweatpants, old running shoes and an open flannel button down shirt over a dingy white tshirt.  She had 3 traps with feral cats she had caught that morning down by the old sugar plant.  From what she told some other woman in the waiting room, she had been doing this for over 20 years now; catching cats in fields and bringing them in to the vet.

Another woman in the room had one cat in her carrier, and it looked more like she was there to have her pet neutered as well.  I struck up a conversation with her…and it was interesting.  She was concerned with saving these feral cats,  and had a bunch of plans on how to make this her mission in life.  It was interesting because we were in a vets office in the middle of the San Joaquin valley of California, surrounded by farm fields, dairies and orchards.  She was commuting out here for her mission from her townhouse in Berkeley.  I didn’t really understand why exactly she was driving over an hour to come out to farmlands to catch cats, but I figured the exotic is more fun than the familiar.  Catching cats in an abandoned sugar plant is certainly more exciting than finding cats in your garbage can next to your townhouse.

Anyway, she named the feral cat, which I think kind of goes against the nature of feral cats.  But it was her new mission, and she was excited, so she named the cat “Camus.”

I have no idea who Camus is, but she certainly did.  She said, “Camus wrote ’The Stranger,’ obviously, so I named him ‘Camus,’ since he was a stranger to me.”

So, off I went to Wikipedia to figure out who Camus was.

Turns out he, “was a French Nobel Prize winning author, journalist, and philosopher. His views contributed to the rise of the philosophy known as absurdism. He wrote in his essay “The Rebel” that his whole life was devoted to opposing the philosophy of nihilism while still delving deeply into individual freedom . (Wikipedia)“  “The Stranger” was a book he wrote in 1946. (link)

Camus said, “I summarized The Stranger a long time ago, with a remark I admit was highly paradoxical: ‘In our society any man who does not weep at his mother’s funeral runs the risk of being sentenced to death.’ I only meant that the hero of my book is condemned because he does not play the game.

This is what interests me: the person who does not play the game.  The game of life that fits the square pegs into square holes.  The game of idealized expectations from society: The behaviors and goals that are normally expected from people in a culture, and the expected judgement onto them when they fail to meet the expectations.  The person who does not have a 9-5 job with benefits.  The person who chooses something different.  The person who chooses a life of “else.”  Not a retail job, what else?  Not a career in a factory, what else?  Not a person who eats at chain restaurants…what else?

When I was in college I worked at an art gallery for a few years.  I was the assistant curator, and I loved that job.  I loved seeing the artwork coming in, I loved meeting the artists, I loved seeing the good work and the bad work…and then finding out the meaning behind the bad work, and having my mind blown.  Art is a mysterious field with mysterious people.  The artists I worked with ranged from women dressed in silk scarves with impeccable hair and expensive perfume, to very angry bald potters wearing flannel and jeans.  You really can’t tell artists out of the crowd, because there are so many artists out there.  Not just the crazy performance artists who plague Berkeley or Greenwich Village, but deep-rooted artists who see the world as an Artist.

tumblr_mzzqxabKjH1st5lhmo1_1280 The Artist sees the light through the tea reflecting the flowers in the backyard.  They will show you the extraordinary emotions of your heart through the ordinary.
tumblr_myp99avE2U1st5lhmo1_1280 The Artist sees the shadows of memories reflecting the legacy of the land.  They will remind you of your father who once showed you how to whittle a stick properly;  your distant uncle who came to visit once when you were young and took you for a ride through the country on his Victory motorcycle.
tumblr_mzzqzbLVlr1st5lhmo1_1280 The Artist will wonder what is in the unseen at the end of the road…but it is unlikely they will go to see.  They will, instead, create the dragon from whose cave the mists creep.
tumblr_n21lrpbo2x1st5lhmo1_1280 And a lot of times…most of the time…the Artist is on a very lonely journey, traveling up the Mountain of Creativity.  Because for an Artist and a Creative, they are seeing the world through a very particular set of eyes that have been calved and hewn differently.  The Artist and Creative will feel the world through different filters…and it is through the filtering process that we get their best, and worst, work.  From the ordinary, we see “what else” there might be…

This is The Artist.  They are the “Else” in society which makes life so beautiful.

Camus was concerned with the foundational “point” of life in the face of the “absurdity” of life.  How is it possible to be worried about the life and death of your lawn when in reality, it is absurd to worry about your lawn when you are just going to ultimately die and leave a dead lawn anyway.

 “We value our own lives in spite of our mortality and in spite of the universe’s silence. While we can live with a dualism (I can accept periods of unhappiness, because I know I will also experience happiness to come), we cannot live with the paradox (I think my life is of great importance, but I also think it is meaningless).

And the reason why I bring up absurdity is this:

What is the point of Art?  What is the purpose of Creating, when the chances of it being meaningful, successful, or, goodness knows, appreciated, is so slim?  Why bother creating art when it is absurd to life an easy life of comfort as an artist?  How can the Artist life with the duality of creating meaning in a world of meaninglessness?

I mean this in quite stark and somber realities: the Art programs in all schools are being cut.  If asked, the general person would not be able to tell you what you would do with a degree in Art, let alone Art History.  The career prospectives for people who desire to be an artist are slim pickings.  The idea of being a career artist is a long, lonely, personal journey up the Mountain of Creativity that will happen only if the Artist believes with their guts that they must Create, or they will die.

The purpose of Art and Creativity is within the Artist and the Creative; but each purpose is an idiosyncratic journey.

This topic is the hardest to write for me because it is so personal.  I might as well just write about my life and the other artists in my family.  So trying to be objective about this is definitely a struggle.

But I believe that in order to raise young Artists and Creatives to believe in themselves, and believe in what they see and feel, their parents must understand what it means to be an Artist and a Creative…and what they can do with their talents, besides get fired from the Public School system.

Camus’ story called, “The Myth of Sisyphus,” said, ”The central concern of The Myth of Sisyphus is what Camus calls “the absurd.” Camus claims that there is a fundamental conflict between what we want from the universe (whether it be meaning, order, or reasons) and what we find in the universe (formless chaos). We will never find in life itself the meaning that we want to find. Either we will discover that meaning through a leap of faith, by placing our hopes in a God beyond this world, or we will conclude that life is meaningless.”

I wonder if the Artist and Creative are “The Myth of Mnemosyne”: The duality paradox of the Artist.

Mnemosyne was the mother of the 9 Muses: Calliope (epic poetry), Clio (history), Euterpe (music), Erato (lyric poetry), Melpomene (tragedy), Polyhumnia (hymns), Tersichore (dance), Thalia (comedy) and Urania (astronomy).

Mnemosyne’s creations embody the spectrum of creativity, and the body of artistic vision.

Perhaps it is the Myth of Mnemosyne where there is a fundamental conflict between what we want from art, which is beauty and an orderly, understandable reflection of life, and what we actually find in art, which is so often mysterious, confusing and even upsetting.

Will we ever find in art, itself, the meaning of what we want to find?  Is the purpose of art to placate the audience, or to be an artistic reflection of the audience?

Either we will discover that artistic meaning through a leap of faith, by placing our hopes in the Artist and Creative, or we will conclude that art is meaningless.

And that is the conclusion that so many of us have reached: that the confusing and upsetting art is meaningless, and therefore the Artist and Creative are meaningless in society.

I wonder though…if we cannot stretch our faith to understand the art just a little more.  Can we help our young Artists and Creatives create meaningful art, and give meaning to their talent?  Or are they stuck on the lonely journey up the mountain by themselves?

As an Artistic and Creative parent, I can tell you that I am very interested in being the Sherpa for my Artistic and Creative children.

I wonder if we could train other Sherpas, as well, for other children?

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mnemosyne)

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Camus)

Kids Series: Raising Leaders, Artists, Engineers & Goofballs

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Any parent will tell you that kids are funny:  they each come with their own unique skill sets, interests, passions and dreams.

And as any parent will also tell you, it is hard finding out how to develop each child, individually!

How do you encourage the athletic daughter while also encouraging your academic son?  What benefits does the goofball kid have, who has a ton of energy and makes people laugh all the time?  How do we help the child who never stops talking to control their thought process, as well as helping the quiet child to express themselves without forcing them into it?

In this series we are going to explore how to raise  Leaders, Artists, Engineers & Goofballs!

 

Sometimes A Homeschooling Mom Needs Encouragement. Sometimes, The Kids Do.

All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.” – Walter Scott

We have been homeschooling for over 6 years now.

I started teaching them in Kindergarten, and the oldest is finishing up 5th grade this year!  That is  180 days of school for six years, which would be  (hold on, let me get my calculator because I still can’t do math in my head…) 1,800 days of school.

1,800 days of school.

I don’t know if I’ve done 1,800 days of laundry in my lifetime….well, maybe.  But that’s hard to say for sure.

But I can tell you that during these 1,800 days of schooling I have relied on inspirational quotes to encourage me.  I need to persevere through the day, through the distractions, through the work.  I need to believe that sometimes pushing myself and sometimes pushing my kids is worth it; and I need to believe that even if we take a whole week off for Spring Break that the world isn’t going to fall apart, and we are going to actually feel rejuvenated and better if we relax and unwind for a while.

  Continue reading “Sometimes A Homeschooling Mom Needs Encouragement. Sometimes, The Kids Do.”

I Am Letting My Husband and Children Teach Me How To Relax.

I think my goal in life is to not fall apart…

It is a weird goal, I think.  Some people want to be astronauts.  Some people want to be ballerina dancers.

I want to provide my children with a fantastic home, a great learning environment, enable their pursuits in education and extracurricular activities, make sure we participate in social events, volunteer, provide healthy meals for my home, make sure we have clean clothes and a functional household, encourage my husband in his work while being a loving and fun wife…. I also want to have a garden and write and paint and one day visit Montana.  I could go on for days, it’s a never ending list.

Continue reading “I Am Letting My Husband and Children Teach Me How To Relax.”

Learning Zen From The Pros

Listen, it’s been a long week.

I can’t imagine I’m the only one who has ever reached a Friday and said, “Thank goodness I have all Saturday to clean the house and get caught up on laundry, get a hold of the epic dishes apocalypse in the kitchen once we have more soap, and finish all the monster gardening projects I have going in the backyard.  Because it sure isn’t happening today.”

Am I right?

Continue reading “Learning Zen From The Pros”

Motherhood Isn’t What I Expected.

I can’t say I am a particularly “emotional” person.  It has never been a quality I have been able to possess, even though it would be really handy at times.  There are definitely times when I envy women who are able to read a Hallmark card and start weeping, or hear devastating news and are overwrought with empathy.  They make it look so easy!  Somehow, this gene just never made it my way.

Let me put it this way:  I can sit through “The Notebook” without any tears.

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Tough as nails, am I.

Continue reading “Motherhood Isn’t What I Expected.”

It’s Princess Day: A Model For Your Kids

This year on St. Patrick’s Day I was taking a shower (in the afternoon, because that’s how I roll) and trying to think of something green to wear.

My kids were all downstairs trying to figure out the loopholes of the green code: do shoes count?  What about socks?  Green hair can’t count…but what about green eyes?  They were busy plotting and planning who they could pinch within the bounds of the law.


I, however, am not a green-person.  Green doesn’t look flattering on me at all, so I really couldn’t think of anything green that I even owned.  I was in a pickle, you could say.

 
However, I do have this incredible gold satin Celtic chemise with a black and gold embroidered, lace-up over dress I got at a Scottish festival.  It is undoubtedly the most epic dress I own, and I figured if I couldn’t go green, at least I could go Celtic.

This is me not squinting.


So I hopped out of the shower and dug out my epic dress from the farthest reaches of my closet, behind the rest of the old dresses I don’t wear anymore.  I put on the golden layers, adjusted the silk chemise and laced myself up as tight as I could go.
 
My kids met me at the stairs wearing their martial arts’ uniforms, all ready for class, and I said, “Get your pads, it’s time for class!”
 
The funny thing is, they hardly batted an eye at what I was wearing.  It didn’t faze them in the least bit that I was wearing my Scottish garb to their martial arts class for the next hour and a half.  They just grabbed their bag of pads and got in the car, normal as always.
 
The only reaction I really got was from my 3 year old, actually.  She had just woken up from a nap and was coming down the stairs in her pajamas, and gasped in surprise when she saw me. All I heard when she turned around to go back into her room was her muttering, “It’s Princess Day, I have to get my Princess Dress…..
 
Those words were fantastic to hear.  It’s Princess Day.  I have to get my Princess Dress.
 
As a mother, and in particular as a homeschooling mother, it is crucial that I am a model for my kids.  They will be looking to my husband and me as models for what it means to be a woman, what it means to be a man, how a marriage works, what parents are like.  Since they are around me during the day, and every day for that matter, they will imitate how I behave, act and react to life.  
 
Ben took our oldest son out for hamburgers and pie for a “guys’ night out” the other night.  The funniest thing he reported back was after dinner our son  said to him, “Let’s take a walk to PetCo and look at the animals.  Mom would want us to get some good exercise.”  So they went over to PetCo and I got to hear about all the little critters they saw; which was super cute to listen to.
 
The truth is, you can overthink this aspect of being a model very quickly: “I am a model for my children, so no silly stuff.”
 
But that is the thing…the silly stuff is what makes the sun brighter, the flowers more colorful, the air that much sweeter.  The silly stuff makes the bubbles in summer fly farther, or the finger paint more vibrant.  It is the element that makes swimming in a lake together more memorable.  Or watching your favorite movie together and quoting all the words together, thus basically talking over the entire film.  The silly stuff adds that element of intense joy to life that you can’t buy, and you can’t fake.  It is genuine, it is personal, and it is loving.
 
Friends of mine have used words like “artsy” or “unique” to describe me before, which is totally valid.  They’ve used other words too, like “quirky,” or “creative.”  Truth be told, I have no problem wearing my favorite knee-high rainbow socks to church.  They’re my favorite socks!  I also have no hesitation painting my living room purple, or my kitchen lavender.  Although I live a pretty straight-forward, middle-class American suburban life…if I never did these little silly things that I love, I just wouldn’t be myself.  Anyone who knows me even a little bit would understand.  But more importantly, my kids know me and they understand.
 
I think it is important to the development of my kids’ characters to foster the love of learning, as well as the love of thinking outside the box.  Sure, you are supposed to wear green on St. Patrick’s Day…but what if you didn’t?  What else could you do?
 
And that is the question I pose for myself: If I am the role model for my kids, what else can I do?
 
It’s Princess Day, my friends.


 

5 Mother’s Day Dates With Your Family

To celebrate Mother’s Day, I am a pretty simple woman: I really just want to spend time with my family.

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I have been reading through Mother’s Day idea lists, and while most of them are very sweet and thoughtful, like framed handprints or handmade cards from the kids…there are some that just make me scratch my head.

#22. A handy dustbuster for dealing with the Cheerios problem in the car.

#25 A Big Ol’ Monthly Chalkboard Peel and Stick Wall Calendar.

#51 Replacing the batteries in all the remotes. All of them

#44. A book for the desperate mom who needs to know there is hope for her to breathe again. 

Nothing makes me reflect on the wonders of motherhood like a dustbuster, or a book about how hopeless motherhood is.  Call me crazy, but my husband and children are actually the ones who give me hope and joy in life.

So anyway, what I don’t want is forced events away from my family.  What’s the point of celebrating Mother’s Day without the people who make me a mother?

Here are some fun ideas to spend some memorable time with your family!

1. Backyard Picnic

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Give me some bubbles, fun music, mimosas and a blanket in the backyard, and I’m good!

Make some raspberry suntea, have a bucket of strawberries and a pot of melted chocolate, maybe a huge plate of croissant sandwiches and a freezer full of orange creamsicles and you have an epic Mother’s Day picnic!

 

2. Cafe’ Date

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I have done this a few times already, and it is always a hit.  Take everyone out for coffee or tea!  The best way is to walk to the cafe if it’s close enough.  I used to love sitting in cafe`s with my friends when I was younger, and now I love sitting in cafe`s with my family  🙂

 

3. Movie Night!

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Now, you can do this one of two ways:

1. You can go out to the movies!  Enjoy a night in the theater watching a new movie together!

or

2. Enjoy a movie at home!  The upside to this method is threefold:

a. Pajama night.  Enough said.

b. You can choose any movie you want! “Princess Bride,” “Mulan,” “Frozen”?    No, I haven’t gotten sick of any of these yet  😉      All on the menu.

c. Caramel Popcorn Recipe! or have a hot fudge sundae station in the kitchen, or a fruit and chocolate fondue pot.  I love this idea more and more….

4. Sunday Brunch

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My husband has been taking us out to a Sunday Brunch for years, and I LOVE it.

I go all out and get everyone dressed up, and I wear a floppy sun hat and it is just fun all around.  One year one of my sons came back to the table with an oyster on his plate…which made my husband and I cringe a little.  But he ate it!  And then our oldest daughter came back with two oysters on her plate.  I let them both know that although we all enjoy a healthy amount of competition in our lives…they didn’t have to win this one.

They were both pretty relieved and went back to packing themselves full of fresh pineapple.

I love Sunday brunches with the family.  I love watching other families honor their mothers with Sunday brunch as well!  I think last year there was a family that might have had 50 people in all.  It was impressive, and it was heartwarming to see so many people brought together.

Plus, they keep bringing you mimosas….

5. Do Something Special

Sometimes you need a special day to do something you will really enjoy:

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  • I ran a 5K with my daughter one Mother’s Day weekend, and that will always be a special memory!
  • Beach Day
  • Skydiving (for braver moms with better bladder control, maybe)
  • Boat trip
  • The zoo (I am a total sucker for zoos…)
  • The aquarium
  • Family bike ride
  • Themed evening: everything must relate to Star Wars, for example
  • huge backyard bbq
  • roller rink
  • nature hike

 

Be creative!

Make this Mother’s Day memorable for you and your family!