Boosting Your Serotonin Levels Through Homeschooling

This semester we are starting a Literature class with the kids.

Can I get an AMEN!!

Yeah, so this is my territory and I am super stoked.  Bonus: the first novel we are reading is none other than Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice.”  I’ll just be in a delirium of heaven over here.

The problem is, the kids in the Lit class are in 4th and 5th grade, and Jane Austen is a little tough for this age.  We’ve been reading the first few chapters a few times, and it just wasn’t getting through.  Reading it alone, reading it out loud, reading it together.  There are a lot of characters, a lot of Bennets, a few Bingley’s, and a slew of gigantic, 18th century words like, “ingenious suppositions, and distant surmises;” or “I honour your circumspection. A fortnight’s acquaintance is certainly very little. One cannot know what a man really is by the end of a fortnight.”  I mean, we are getting through it…but it’s taking a while.

So I had this plan.

Let’s break this book down.  We’ll read 5 chapters, and then we will watch the 1995 BBC version of “Pride and Prejudice,” which is neatly broken up into 6 parts, so we can watch only what we have read.  So we started this today.

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Helllooooo Mr. Darcy

And I am dead serious when I say that the whole time we were watching Episode 1, the kids were excitedly saying, “Oh, that’s Mrs. Bennet!  And that’s why she is foolish!  I didn’t understand why she was foolish, but that makes sense now.”  They watched what they read, and they saw the characters, and they were able to put faces to the names.

IT. WAS. AWESOME.  The kids were excited about the ball, and excited about seeing the characters, and they were excited about the story.  We really have been working on reading these first 5 chapters for a few days now, and when I finally made the breakthrough with them…I was overcome with pride.  Big, fat, warm squishy happy pride.  We did it.

Now, the infamous Simon Sinek wrote a book about the release of serotonin as a result of these moments.  He actually broke down the features of quite a few endorphins in his book:

 

read_new

(you can buy it here…but I would suggest the eBook.  There are videos in it, which are really nice)

I am very interested in what he has to say about this balance of endorphins in our life.  Stress is good…it pushes us to innovate.  Goals are good…they get us to create.  Serotonin is good…it gives us a satisfaction that drives us forward.  But how do you balance it all?

I found a great summary on GirlFriendCircles.com

“Sinek relied on human biology to illustrate what motivates behavior, saying basically that our actions boil down to the good feelings we get from four key chemicals in our body: dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin.  When we trigger any of these chemicals in our bodies, we get a shot of something euphoric whether it’s extra energy, joy, calm, or pride.   Here’s how we receive those good feelings:

  1. Dopamine is the result of accomplishing goals, it’s designed to help us find what we’re looking for. Every time we see a finish line, cross something off our to-do list, or see movement toward our goals– we get that shot of dopamine!
  2. Endorphins mask our physical pain and help us keep pushing ourselves to where we need to be. For most of us who live more sedentary and safe lives, our most common form of endorphins come from exercise. If you’ve ever had a “runner’s high”– you know this feeling.
  3. Oxytocin is one I talk about a lot in connection with our friendships as it reinforces bonds, builds trust, and relieves stress.  We get this from touch, meaningful conversation, breast-feeding, and when we see/experience acts of human generosity.
  4. Serotonin happens in moments of pride, recognition, and status. When we receive our diploma on stage, say “I do” in front of friends and family, or are the recipients of a meaningful award– we get that shot of serotonin that boosts our joy.

Now, what I thought was super fascinating is that the first two chemicals you can get all by yourself.  You need no one else present to get your dopamine from crossing something off your to-do list or to exercise and feel the endorphins.  Sinek called these “selfish” hormones.

The latter two–oxytocin and serotonin– are “unselfish” chemicals since we need someone else present in order to receive the rewards that our body wants to give us.  He gave the example of someone who could just receive an email telling them that enough credits had been accomplished and the bill paid so therefore they earned their diploma– and that person would have most certainly received a shot of dopamine for reaching their goal.  But it’s when that person dons their cap and gown and walks in front of everyone that the serotonin is released.  We need an “audience”– someone to cheer for us or witness our success– to give us that sense of pride and recognition.  And the best part of these unselfish chemicals?  BOTH people get the shot.  Not just the graduate on stage, but also the teachers who taught that student, the family that supported them, and their friends who did it with them.  Oxytocin and serotonin need others present to initiate them, but they also benefit all parties.”

 

(I was trying to find Simon’s list of these 4, but GirlFriendCircles.com did such a great job summarizing it, I would love to give her credit for what she said!! http://www.girlfriendcircles.com/blog/index.php/2013/07/friendships-stress-and-hormones-simon-sinek/)

Correspondence With Costa Rica: Letters From Anna

Okay, so I am super excited about this: An extremely good friend of mine and her husband (also an extremely good friend) are moving to Costa Rica!  

This is an excellent opportunity to learn what it is like to be an American living in Costa Rica.  I want to hear about what they experience, what they eat, what they drink, who they see, how hard or easy it is to transition between cultures.  After you grow up on horses in Colorado, get a degree in Political Science and marry an entrepreneur in California who looks like Thor, how do you start a new home in a foreign, tropical country?  

I want to know it all, and I would love to share this with you guys  🙂  

So, here is Anna’s first letter: The Few Weeks Before They Leave!

 photo 3Anna & Dreutch 

Tamarah,

We have only a few weeks until we move to Costa Rica. Yikes! It has not truly hit me yet that we are leaving. I am excited and nervous at the same time.

In regards to planning: we decided that we could either plan for the entire year before we moved or wait until 3 months before and work like mad to be ready in time. We chose the latter. We recently coined the term in our house “The wall of inevitability” in reference to the move date. When I start to panic that we won’t be ready or that I will forget something we need, I try to remember that I only technically need our passports and money. So if I forgot to purchase the snake-bite kit, water purifier, carabineers, or other misc. “Costa Rica items” or if per chance they don’t fit, it will not be the end of the world.

We are moving with 2 suitcases and a carry-on for each person. In case your brain just exploded like mine did at first– our apartment there will be fully furnished. So it’s not quite that crazy. Ya! I love the freedom of only being responsible for 100 lbs of stuff!  I have been lauding the merits of minimalism for months. Yet it has been a bit of a challenge to clear the nonessentials. I discovered that I struggle the most to let go of free stuff. My mom has generously given me an abundance of clothes that she no longer would wear or that don’t fit (and I have been accumulating them for the past 8 years) For obvious reasons, they were free and they were from my mom! It didn’t take me long to decide that at this point, the ones I don’t wear, I shouldn’t keep “just in case”.  Here’s to hoping someone else will enjoy them!

Then there are the clothes that I don’t fit into anymore, but I keep around because I want to fit into them. I am almost ashamed to admit I put a decent number of shorts into storage that I can’t even wear right now. You know, for magical future me that will be able to wear them. I like to consider myself an optimist. Or maybe I should just imagine myself as Gollum on this issue… “my precious pants that are 4 sizes too small…”

I know, I know, let it go….

A few things I will miss from the US.
1.     Friends and family
2.     Cheddar cheese, steak, asparagus, peaches, strawberries
3.     Toffee nut latte – Starbucks
4.     Boots for blustery fall weather
5.     My amazing spin instructor and her crazy music.
6.     Our new-ish church that we love!

Excited for
1.     Meeting new people and living near friends.
2.     Discovering new amazing and fun foods and hobbies!
a.     Pineapple, manga, sashimi straight from the ocean
b.     Spear fishing
c.      New adventures!

“Toodle-oo!”

Anna

P.S. (Try using “Toodle-oo” on guys, sometimes they will say it back to you before they process that it sounds silly. Which makes me chuckle (inside)).   Except when Duke Ellington does it. Then its magic.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_Y0cJ-aEbY

Blogging With Kids

 Most of the time when I am writing, it looks like this.

 

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But I get interrupted often.


Photo on 8-20-14 at 11.54 AM Photo on 8-20-14 at 11.54 AM #2By very cute people who sit on me.

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A lot of the time, I can’t even see my laptop.


Photo on 8-14-14 at 9.57 AMPhoto on 6-1-14 at 8.27 AM #2

 

But I know they won’t lay on me forever.  

One day they will be too old to cuddle with Mom.

 

Photo on 4-15-14 at 8.10 AM

 

So, for now, I get to smile with them and hug them while I can,

and blog when my hands are free.

 

Photo on 5-17-14 at 1.35 PM #2

Coloring Inside The Lines

This morning I was just about to start mopping, for obvious reasons, when I found a square out of place:

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This was from my very artistic 4 year old.  She has been hiding crayons in her pockets forever so she could color her crib (when she was in a crib), and the walls surrounding her crib, in peace.  I don’t want to overreact and say her need to color on the house is an epidemic, but we’ll just say it’s a bit of a habit.  One that I thought we had grown out of, since there hasn’t been a crayon outbreak lately.

But armed with new crayons, to her, this particular square of kitchen needed to be filled.  Apparently.

Now, I’ve already talked with her about drawing on the house (again), and I imagine that since we just got fresh crayons for the school room, this won’t be the last time I see something on the house colored.  And today won’t be the last time I talk to her about not drawing on the house.

But here’s the thing: it’s really not that big of a deal.

I’m not too worried about it because I can wash this off.  I was going to mop anyway, and it will come off.  It’s just crayon, and it’s drawn on tile.  Even permanent marker isn’t permanent (nail polish is a little tougher).

But the heart of my daughter is.  And I take that into grave consideration when I scale the discipline with my kids.

There are some things that are inexcusable: lying, betrayal, violence, rage…things of destructive natures.

But drawing on tile is not destructive…it is an instructive moment.  I can teach her why we don’t draw on the house in this moment.  She can get a sponge and help me clean the crayon, so she sees how hard it is to get off.  We can discuss this together, and I can make this moment a learning moment for her.

Honestly, when I saw this, the first thing I thought was, “If you teach your kids to color inside the lines, sometimes we have to also show them where the lines are.”  Because, as you can see, she did color inside the lines very well.

I just need to show her that we color inside the lines on paper.

Because You’ve Been Pining For It – “Tenant of Wildfell Hall”: Chapters 2-5

Monday No-Obligation Book Club Study Questions!

W007!

benedict-cumberbatch-promise

Listen, Benedict loves my study questions.  He told me so himself.

Chapter 2: Autumn- a time to plant your winter garden

1) the chapter begins in the fall, which is the best time to begin your winter garden, or to plant
trees. How is this significant to the story, or to the relationship between Gilbert and Mrs.
Graham?
2) Why do you think the men went hunting, as opposed to showing the men at work, at the
pub, etc.?
3) Why is the name and history of “Wildfell” important?
4) How does the description of Wildfell reflect on Mrs.Graham?
5) The opening of gardens and closing of iron gates with her first conversation with Gilbert:
how is this reflective of Mrs.Graham?

Chapter 3: Setting Boundaries

1) mrs. Mark ham and mrs. Graham really get into it in the beginning of this chapter. mrs. Mark
ham states her position as,” But my dear, I call that doting. You should try to suppress such
foolish fondness, as well to save your so from ruin as yourself from ridicule…” “…he should
learn to be ashamed of it (apron strings)Why do you think she feels this way? How does it
reflect the nature of the small, rural community in which she is raising her children?
2) How is mrs. Graham setting boundaries around her home, and her son, in particular? After
her stance on wine is exposed, what do you think is her motive for her boundaries?
3) Old views of parenting vs. new views of parenting?
4) Mrs graham has distinct views on virtuous ness. “Girls are prone to sin, while the nobler sex
there is a natural tendency to goodness, superior fortitude, further developed” “I would not
send a girl unarmed into the world, ignorant of the snares; nor will I guard her, till deprived of
self-respect and self-reliance, she lost the power or the will…” Where do you think she
came up with these ideas? Do you think she is trying to form a cultural rebellion, or is it for
self-preservation?
5) Gilbert admits in the end that, “perhaps I was a little spoiled by my mother and sister.” Why
do you think the author included this?

Chapter 4: Study of Persons

1) The party begins on November 5th. This is a pretty significant date for Britain. Why did the
author plant this date in the story?
2) The party politics were interesting, but familiar. Why is it interesting that the persons at this
party are the same type of persons who we find at parties now, as well?
3) Piano: “there was plenty of skill, but precious little feeling.” Why is it interesting that this
would be important to Gilbert to notice?
4) Why do you think Eliza’s father wanted a moderation of dancing?
5) “As artful a little hussy as anybody need wish to see.” Gilbert’s mother doesn’t like Eliza.
Why not? Do you think this is contradictory to what she claims to espouse as well tempered
people?
6) How does Gilbert respond to his mothers opinions of Eliza?

Chapter 5: Mrs. Graham, exposed

1) Rose and Gilbert visit Wildfell Hall, and first see an easel. Why is this interesting?
2) What is the significance of Fernley Manor?
3) She admits she is under cover. What does this mean?
4) Who do you think the man is who arrived “suddenly”?
5) Who do you think the portrait of the winking man is?) Is it significant that she apologizes? Why?
7) “When a lady condescends to apologize, there is no keeping ones anger.” How is this
important to Gilbert’s relationship with mrs. Graham?

Do Not Poke The Bear

push-button

.
A phrase of warning used to prevent oneself or others from asking or doing something that might provoke a negative response from someone or something else.
 
Employee 1: “Should I ask the boss for a day off?”
Employee 2: “He just found out his wife left him, so don’t poke the bear.”
 
Or, maybe another way of putting it:
 
Church member1: “I know we have been sitting here with a flock of toddlers for 4 hours, but do you think it is a good idea to spend another hour asking vacuous questions, again, for the millionth time, to make sure people are paying attention to me?”
Church member 2: “No, that is a terrible idea.  The bear over there has already had it with a litany of things this morning, such as saying that certain mental illnesses don’t even exist, and if you even so much as breathe on the bear, it might destroy you.  You might want to save this for after service, with respect for the families with little kids!”
 
What would have been optimal is if the response was this:
Church member 1: “Oh, that is a much better idea.  Thanks for the tip!”
 
Unfortunately, it was not.  And I am doing clean up crew for the mess I made.  
 
Anger and wrath enter the lives of every one of us. But let us learn from Jesus to be “swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath” (James 1:19). Let us also learn that there is a time for righteous indignation. When there are those who stand between God and the true worship that is due Him—whether it be through false doctrine, hypocrisy, or any other vice—let us remember the example of the Lord and “be angry, yet sin not” (Ephesians 4:26).”
 
So, apparently I have reached the boundaries of my patience, and lost it in church yesterday.  Lost. It.  I remember in the film, “Patton,” Gen. George Patton was looking over the grave of a soldier he had just buried and wrote a letter to the soldier’s family.  It was absolutely beautiful, and gets me every time I hear it.  He said something along the lines of, “He was a good man, and had no vice.”  
 
I would love for that to be said of me when I am remembered.  Unfortunately, it isn’t a realistic goal.
 
I certainly don’t have huge, glaring vices like drugs or gambling.  But the vices of hatred and pride are certainly ones I struggle with.  I hate men who are abusive to women.  Even a little bit.  Easy enough, right?  What if no one else has a problem with it?  Hmm. I hate men who make younger women feel very sexually uncomfortable.  Probably something to be angry about, as well.  But he’s “just *name*.”  Okay.  I hate hypocrisy…even though I am a hypocrite and I hate that in myself as well.  Anyone who says they aren’t a hypocrite is naive and blind.  It’s as clear as that.  But some days hypocrisy is tough to listen to.  For hours.  And hours.
 
And don’t even get me started on false teachers in the church.  I’m already in a world of trouble as it is.
 
My prayers, my earnest prayers, for myself are, once again: humility.  Maybe even meekness, if I really want to stretch myself.
 
So, that’s where I am, people.  One giant, cuddly, flawed bear.
 
 

Exploring Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder

Jeff Foxworthy kind of hit the nail on the head when he said his wife was a hypochondriac:

My wife and I, we love watching, like, Dateline, 20/20, those shows. But you know how every week they will feature a disease. And I swear to you, every week, no matter what the disease is, my wife has it.

There could be three people on the planet that have this disease, my wife is one of them. She just watches it going “I’ve got it.”

I have every one of those symptoms. I’m like “you do not have testicular cancer.”
You don’t even have testiculars.”
featured at http://www.quotesworthrepeating.com/quote-by/j/jeff-foxworthy/123-joke-by-jeff-foxworthy/#qJtf2AydiWJALOfC.99

 

pms_01

It is really tough having diseases and disorders.

I mean, sure, it’s tough dealing with them.  But most of the time, it is hard figuring out which one is actually happening:

Is it an aura for a seizure?

Is it a panic attack?

Is it an SVT attack?

Is it a Celiac reaction?

Is it a hormone crash?

…could be any of these, a lot of the time.  Fortunately, I’ve been dealing with them all for so long, I kind of have them figured out by now.  For the most part.  If anything, I don’t tend to freak out as much as I used to, and that is helpful.  I don’t think I am going to die, so I got that goin’ for me.

Celiac, Epilepsy and SVT are all pretty under control.  I got it.

But the hormone problems…I just never found an answer for.  5 days during Ovulation, which are paralyzing pain episodes, stabbing pain through my pelvis, migraines, mood swings, vomiting from extreme pain, inability to eat without throwing up; debilitating fatigue, loss (not lack) of energy, and pretty crabby if I can’t help it…it’s just rough.  Then a couple days off, and then PMS 9 days before my cycle.  Same routine as ovulation.  But once the period begins, I feel normal again.  I can breathe easier by then.  And I have a few days until it begins again…

 

Me: “My periods are kind of…extreme.”

Doctor: “Try Tylenol.  Have you tried Tylenol yet?  Try Motrin and Tylenol at the same time.  See if that helps.”

 

It doesn’t help.  And I hate being dependent on pain killers just in order to survive the days.  It is frustrating, and it is demoralizing.  What I hear is, “We don’t know what is wrong with you, so manage the pain until you die.”

And that is not a solution.  Not for me.

I have tried diets, I have tried exercise, I have tried yoga, I have tried supplements, and last year I tried hormone therapy.  And that made everything so much worse.  The pain was unbearable, and it lasted for weeks every month.  The few days off were a godsend at that point.  I asked my doctor, and he said, “Hmm.  Try this one instead.” Which isn’t a solution, either.  I need something a little more scientifically structured than shooting in the dark.

Finally getting the term, Premenstrual Dysphonic Disorder is a breath of relief.

I can finally wrap my head around what is going on, and work on daily solutions to make my days more bearable.  I won’t feel helpless when I am paralyzed by pain that Motrin can’t touch, and I won’t feel like I am going crazy because…this is not “just PMS.”  This is something different.

Instead of looking at balancing my hormones, I am looking at balancing my serotonin levels.

Instead of feeling crazy, I feel like I have the strength to conquer this.

And damned if I’m not going to.

 

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Like PMS, premenstrual dysphoric disorder follows a predictable, cyclic pattern. Symptoms begin in the late luteal phase of the menstrual cycle (after ovulation) and end shortly after menstruation begins.[8] On average, the symptoms last six days, with the most intense symptoms happening in the two days before through the day of the start of menstrual blood flow.[9]

Emotional symptoms are generally present, and in PMDD, mood symptoms are dominant.[8] Substantial disruption to personal relationships is typical for women with PMDD.[8]Anxiety, anger, and depression may also occur. The main symptoms, which can be disabling, include[10]

  • Feelings of sadness or despair, or even thoughts of suicide
  • Feelings of tension or anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Mood swings or frequent crying
  • Lasting irritability or anger that affects other people
  • Lack of interest in daily activities and relationships
  • Trouble thinking or focusing
  • Tiredness or low energy
  • Food cravings or binge eating
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Feeling out of control
  • Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain

The symptoms occur during the week before menstruation, and go away once it starts. A diagnosis of PMDD requires the presence of at least five of these symptoms.[10]

 

caveat: I might not have this, since the doctors also diagnosed me with endometriosis 2 years ago, and I really don’t think that’s the case.  But crap, who knows by now.  At least this is something new to work with.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004461/ 

“Poetry. Beauty. Romance. Love. These are what we stay alive for.”

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Last night I went to see “Guardians of the Galaxy,” and got caught up in the whole first 5 minutes of the film.

If you haven’t seen it, his mom dies.  You’re welcome.

Anyway, as I was watching the scene, I realized that my perspective has certainly changed over the years.  I think I was supposed to be identifying with Peter Quill in that moment: trying to figure out what was going on, angry that my mom was dying, isolated from humanity through the unbearable grief of death…

But in that moment all I could think of was the things I would want to tell Peter as his mother.

“Peter, this is going to be tough, and I can’t be here to help you anymore, so listen to me sweetie.  Death is painful…for you.  I won’t be in anymore pain after I die, but you will. You will have this pain like a rock inside of you that you can’t move.  You will feel like you can’t breathe with this rock sitting in your chest.  I want you to take some time to feel the rock, so you know what it is, and so you can let it go.  Take time to write all your questions to God on the rock.  Go ahead and ask Him why this had to happen: it’s okay to ask.  Write down all the betrayal you feel, every tear of grief and lay it on top of the rock.  And when you are ready, go down to the ocean and put the rock on the shore with the rest of the rocks.  Let the waves come and go over your toes.  And you can remember me there.  But when you turn around to return home, I want you to be the best man you can be.  Be kind to those who hurt.  Be loving to those who are angry.  Be forgiving to the bitter.  Because you understand what it feels like, and you know how much pain we all are in.  And you can be their smile when they forgot how to smile.

Peter, life isn’t always going to be fair, and I am sorry for that.  But you will never regret being too kind or too loving.  Make sure you see the people around you who you can love, and make sure you let them love you back.

Love,

Mom”

Death is so final.

Most of my family has died.  There is nothing I can do to bring anyone back.  And I spent a lot of time sitting at the desk, so to speak, staring out the windows trying to find answers to the “whys” of death.

But after I became a mother, my perspective has definitely changed.

I looked down at the people sitting in the desks staring hopelessly out the window, and I at want to find the words to make sense of things.  At least the best as humanly possible in the face of ethereal pickles.

The death of both Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Robin Williams are tough.

Both of them brought so much beauty and joy through their art, it is agonizing to think that there is nothing we can do to bring them back.  I can’t write them a letter and tell them that millions of people love them.  I can’t reassure them that sometimes life hurts, but if they need to talk to someone, someone will always be there.

I can’t tell them these things, but I can tell the people around me…I can love them, and help them with their rocks that are keeping them at their desks.

And maybe, if I extend my hand to them, maybe I can help them stand on the desk too.

You never know.