A Little Poetry For Sunday

I was a poet way before I was a blogger…so how about some poetry for you lovely people?

 

In The Wilderness

 

In the wilderness

begins my walk across the baked earthen floor.

The sun’s gaze was so much greater

with no tree or building to hide me;

the ground has not had rain

and is as parched as my soul;

Even the hungry wind barely carries

the meager dust and pollen from

desert flowers, somewhere in the distance.

Somewhere in the distance

I can see some desert flora

hiding in the heat waving on the ground.

It seems, the dry yet fertile land around me

holds many seeds, but they lay in a

dormant sleep

under my feet

until they find the grace

in the clouds.

There is no harvest.

I can barely scrape

a handful of dirt in my hands.

There are cloudless skies.

There is no rain.

There are no shadows under which to hide.

There are no shadows under the sun,

no where to escape, no hiding place I can see.

In the middle of the desert,

I have found myself.

My heart is searching for something

incredible; and yet, I have walked into

the barren land which can’t even grow shadows.

My mind feels lost, being so exposed.

Yet this rouge shape that sits on the horizon

compels me to continue.

I am compelled to continue,

because if I sit, I will be lost in the wilderness

for the eternity of my soul.  But this blush of hope on the horizon

beckons me with such burning intrigue

I can only heed its call.

When I reach the plant, nay a foot high in person

I tower over its beauty,

which called to me from across the entire desert.

This prickled desert rose, such an unusual presence in a

place of barren thoughts;

Her purpose was not to be beautiful unto herself,

but to use the barren land around her

to show the enormous beauty

God could fit

into something so small.

Hacker Poetry

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What Hacker Poetry is:

1. The Hacker Vision:

Since art is the culmination of the collaboration with self, present and past society, and our collective inertia towards art, then it is conclusive that true art is the ultimate hacking space: the artist is the hacker which takes, creates and innovates the moving soul of the world for the purpose of making art, and the self, better.

(response to Ginsberg’s “New Vision”)

 

2. “A hacker is one who enjoys the intellectual challenge of creatively overcoming and circumventing limitations of systems and who tries to extend their capabilities[3]

“The act of engaging in activities, such as poetry, in a spirit of playfulness and exploration is termed hacking.

However the defining characteristic of a hacker is not the activities performed themselves (e.g. writing, poetry, etc.), but the manner in which it is done: Hacking entails some form of excellence, for example exploring the limits of what is possible,[5] thereby doing something exciting and meaningful.[4]

 

Richard Stallman explains about hackers who program:

What they had in common was mainly love of excellence and programming. They wanted to make their programs that they used be as good as they could. They also wanted to make them do neat things. They wanted to be able to do something in a more exciting way than anyone believed possible and show “Look how wonderful this is. I bet you didn’t believe this could be done.”[6]

(credit)
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What Hacker Poetry isn’t:

It isn’t a viral campaign.

It isn’t going on YouTube. Well, it might.  Everything gets on YouTube these days.  But that’s not the direct idea.

It isn’t a cure for anything. Except for literary madness.

It isn’t a movement to change, per se. It is a movement to create.

It isn’t the Elks Lodge. It isn’t a mother’s group. It doesn’t have membership status. A hacker doesn’t need a card to tell themselves who they are. You define yourself.

 

I’m Publishing A Poetry Journal. You’re Invited.

A few years ago I was the editor for an in-house poetry journal titled, “Illume.”  It lasted 3 seasons, and it was a fantastic collaboration of poets.

After that, I self-published my own poetry book, Petals of Magnolia.

I think it’s time for me to publish another poetry journal.

There is a movement out there…and I can feel it.  I just know it’s there. It’s like…a field full of kids. Wild, curious, punchy kids with suspenders and rusty bikes just talking.  I’d like to get the words we’re saying and make them real.

If this happens, plan on speaking in SF at a launch night.

Msg me if you’re interested.

tamarah.rockwood@gmail.com

September Is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

Normally I’m not big into the ribbons for awareness, but I also don’t feel super comfortable sharing difficult things, so I’m not going to be putting decals on my car.  I think knowledge and awareness are absolutely crucial to getting more cures and more people involved in helping each other, but I’m pretty selective about what I share, and I think it’s better that way.  Like, I don’t like telling people I have Celiac because I don’t like going through the questions…with everybody.

Yes, I can eat potatoes. No I can’t eat one bite of pizza, even if it only has “just a little flour.”  I’m not going to feel sick and “pay for it” afterward: I’m not going to breathe afterward.  And I’ve found that that makes people feel uncomfortable, so I prefer to not talk about it; in general.  I mean, if it comes up it’s not that I avoid admitting it…but in general, it isn’t something I talk about.

Same with epilepsy.

And SVT.

I don’t appreciate snarky comments, I don’t like backhanded comments, and I don’t tolerate jerks very well; and it seems some people just can’t resist being a jerk about this kind of stuff.  I’m also quite adverse to pity (“ohh, you poor thing.“)  Sooo, I just try to avoid situations where my eyebrows may raise and well calculated words may come out of mine mouth.  I think it’s best for humanity and such.

 

This all being said, I was quite surprised this morning to see a ribbon that I am firmly in favor of sharing:

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The reason why it interested me is because ovarian cancer looms on my horizon.

My father’s sister died of ovarian cancer, and my mother’s mother died of ovarian cancer. That covers my lineage for both sides.

They both lived for about a year and a half of agonizing chemotherapy and constant physical and mental torment after the diagnosis before succumbing to it entirely, and it was agonizing to watch.  There was nothing we could to do help them, and they were going to die…and they did die.

So, I keep an eye on things.  Because I want to live, just as they wanted to live. I want to see my children grow up and raise their children.  I want to live a long life with Ben.

Ultimately, there isn’t a magic wand to protect ourselves from anything…diseases happen, accidents happen and death happens.

Ultimately, I don’t know if there is anything we can do for this.  There was nothing I could do for my family.

But damn it, we have to try.

 

Why Teal

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Ovarian.org

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Choose Hope

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Ovarian Cancer.org

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Facebook Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

 

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The Last 4 Months of 2014…Go!

As of today, we are in the final homestretch of 2014….WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!!

20121118133643!Applejack_panic_S3E2images-1RainbowDash_PanickedWe are big pony fans over here. 


Seriously, it feels like the year just begun, and it’s already the last quarter!

Get out your bucket lists people.  2014 is going to be remembered for being AWESOME.  We are DOING this:

1. I am going to lose 5 pounds a month until the end of the year.

Yes, I realize how heartbreakingly cliche this is.  But I know I can do it, and it is a realistic goal.  Dude, if you just cut out carbs, you lose weight.  I know this.  I just have to do it.  That’s the hard part.  But I really, sincerely want to get to a healthier weight.  The older I get, the harder it is going to be.  Plus, my Dad is beating me and he is very close to weighing less than I do….and this is not going to happen.  So, that’s my motivation, and I have you all to witness my dedication.  I say: 20 pounds by Christmas.

 

60eSuck it up, Rainbow Dash!!

 

2. I am going to finish projects I always think about, so they don’t become 2015 projects

-bench and vertical garden in my backyard

-move the chicken coops so they’re connected

-get a new Free Little Library cabinet, with doors (prep for the rain season, if it ever comes)

-My kids’ name-applique` banners (I already have 2 done, I just need to finish the other 3)

 

3. Ben gave me 4 frames for my watercolor paintings…and the paper, paints, brushes have been sitting next to my desk for 2 years.

It’s pathetic.

I am painting them and putting them up. I already know what I need to do.

 

4. Start the process of freelancing writing.

This is a goal of mine, and I need to get the wheels turning a little faster.

 

5. Finish Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving.

This is my goal every year, and although I totally do it…I also have to keep a list of what I got handy.  Because I may forget what I got people by Christmas.  So, it’s kind of a surprise to us all…

But this opens up the entire holiday season for important matters, like cider by the fire with the kids, or handmade ornaments, or finding new ways to enjoy squash.  Like, put it on the counter for decorations (or you could always eat it, but that’s too easy).

 

So, 2014: You have been warned!

Book Reading and Avoiding Laundry For Dummies: 101

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I’m sure I am not the only one who starts a few books at a time…doesn’t your mind get tired of reading just one book?  Wouldn’t you rather be bombarded with the inner workings of a few authors, and enjoy the juxtaposition of worlds, finding common themes between them and further relating to the layers and layers of your onion mind? I love this unraveling of layers, slowly exposing and rebuilding myself with every turn of the page.  It is truly delightful.

Like a girl in every port, I have a book in every room.  

 

So here are the few ports I’m visiting now:

 

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The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out  

                “Jesus says the kingdom of His Father is not a subdivision for the self-righteous nor for                   those who feel they possess the state secret of salvation.  The kingdom is not an                               exclusive, well-trimmed suburb with snobbish rules about who can live there.  No, it                       is for a larger, homelier, less self-conscious caste of people who understand they are                     sinners because they have experienced the yaw and pitch of moral struggle.”

I got this book around 10 years ago, and I flipped through it then; but I never finished it.  At the time I was deeply immersed with Donald Miller‘s writing, and that was where I was at spiritually during the time.

Right now, I’m definitely in a growth period…but not in a “Joyce Meyer” devotional kind of growth.  This is a much more “Rich Mullins,” and “Brennan Manning” growth.  This is when I am sitting in a garden with barefeet, digging my toes in the dirt and picking grass with my green, stained fingers, having a quiet discussion with God and trying to figure things out, kind of growth. My body is rejecting cliche phrases, and locking in on things that I can chew on:

                  “When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes.  I believe and I doubt, I hope                       and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty                               about not feeling guilty.  I am trusting and suspicious.  I am honest and I still play                           games.  Aristotle said I am a rational animal: I say I am an angel with an incredible                       capacity for beer.”

I wish I could thank Brennan for writing this, but unfortunately his time here has passed.  I am so grateful he took the time to scribble the painful throes we wrestle with in our lives, though.  It can be hard to find reality when you are living in a well-irrigated desert, and the illusion of green grass lays on top of the barren ground underneath.  Sometimes it’s nice to help someone pull the sod up, and finally appreciate the beauty of life in the desert, however small or prickly it may be.

 

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Finding God in the Bible: What Crazy Prophets, Fickle Followers and Dangerous Outlaws Reveal about Friendship with God

This is another book that speaks from a different perspective…the perspective of the creative artist.

Artists have it bad, because we see everything from a different angle.  We get distracted on Sundays because of the way the light is shining on the curtains.  We find it interesting how the Pastor uses different words than we do, and spend time writing down these different words on index cards during the sermon, rather than listening to the sermon.  Artists are going to argue and fight and roll their eyes over really basic things: like the use of the color beige.

So to throw theology at them is like throwing paint onto oil.  You might get some of it to stick, but it’s still going to be just colorful oil in the end.

You might be able to change the color of the walls in a church, but you aren’t going to be able to change the color of an artist.  They’re stubborn, and they’re opinionated…and most of the time they’re repressing the daylights out of the nonsense that is engrossing their mental energy.

I have thoroughly enjoyed this book because it is a relief to read someone with the same ridiculous ideas interwoven with thought-provoking theology:

    “Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve wondered what God looks like.  At first I figured He was just     like a puff of smoke, since He was a “spirit” and didn’t have flesh and blood like me, but               then I remembered reading in Genesis that He decided to make man in His “image,”                       whatever that meant…Maybe it’s just my odd mind at work, but if, by some chance, we               aren’t the only ones He created, and out there in the vastness of the universe is another life      form, another planet and another people He is trying to have relationship with, would He         have created them in His image as well, or would He have thought about throwing a curve       ball, spicing things up a bit?  These are the things I ponder, and they are probably the                   stupidest things I could spend my time pondering.”

And that is why I am reading this book.

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Well, the kids are reading this for a Literature class, so naturally I have to read it with them.

Naturally.

The funny thing is, since I haven’t read it in so long, I had forgotten how very long Austen’s sentences are.

So very, very long.

The sentences Austen wrote were as long as the wandering, speckled verdant highlands road in late spring, well after the last toilsome, precipitate showers pelted the intemperate soil in such a way as to wonder if Miss Lucas’ afternoon parlor chatter may have summoned the impenetrable riot of showers and clatter of thunder, in order to bequeath a polite farewell to her monologue; which may have, in fact, allowed the younger ladies leisure to take a sip of their tea without the uncertain moments when they felt the very requisition of their eyebrows to raise, in so much as to suggest that they were, indeed, following along with the story all along.

I shall look forward to returning to my stomping grounds with the Bronte sisters, who made much more sense, with clearer grammar, and outside of drawing rooms.  That is the biggest difference that I see: Austen’s settings were always inside.  The Bronte sisters wrote stories which involved travel.  I enjoy the Brontes’s world a little more, for that reason.  Less sitting, more moving.

Hello Kitty Is A Girl, And So Is The Brave Little Toaster…

I totally can’t think at all when I am in pain.

I haven’t just had this dense, chilled mercury brain-fog all week because of pain: I have had an entire body fog.  I haven’t been able to move much, sit much, or do much without the express aid of Motrin.  My “give a care” meter for decisions has also been on the low side: macaroni for dinner for the kids?  Yep. And I am positive every step of my “low carb diet” plan has been foiled, burned and tossed into the nebula of gluten free pizza.

On the plus side, I’m finally coming out of it!  FINALLY.  I am just so done with this.

So now I have enough brain power to feel guilty for the gluten free pizza again.

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You need to buy more vegetables, missy.

Anyway, the real reason why I am back ENFORCE is because the earth stopped spinning for a second:

Sanrio declared that Hello Kitty wasn’t a cat.

Which is stupid, but they said it: “I was corrected — very firmly,” she (University of Hawaii anthropologist Christine R. Yano) told the Los Angeles Times. “That’s one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.”

This didn’t shake the foundations of reality for me.  She looks like a cat. She has whiskers. She has cat ears. She has a cute little cat nose.  Her friends are penguins and frogs.

Oh yeah, and her name is “Kitty.”

So this stupid idea that she isn’t a cat is…stupid.  Even though Sanrio said she isn’t a cat because she has a pet cat.  Wanna see a paradox?

two-dogs-one-can-talk-one-is-a-pet_1373

 

Guess who is a dog with a pet dog.  I rest my case.

So, Hello Kitty not being a cat didn’t rock my world…probably because I rejected it entirely.  But “The Brave Little Toaster” bombshell is still killin’ me:

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The Backstory On This:  Reddit does AMAs every day (which is “Ask Me Anything,” and it’s an open forum for questions…it’s very awesome), and some are really interesting. The top scoring AMAs can be seen here, and they feature people like Barack Obama, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye and LeVar Burton (to name a few, but there are many).

But there was one day that Jerry Rees did an AMA, and people just went nuts.  Everyone loves “The Brave Little Toaster,” and people came out of the woodwork to talk to Mr. Rees.

The thing is, he dropped this bombshell that The Toaster was a girl…and no one knew.  I didn’t even know, and I have seen that movie (and cried) many times.  The rest of the thread was filled with awestruck fans, having to reevaluate one of their childhood heroes.

The Brave Little Toaster is a girl.  

That, my friends, is a bombshell.

Hello Kitty isn’t a cat?  Is not a bombshell.  It’s stupid.  She’s a cat.

Chapters 6-9

BKB2DC / Television - Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 6: Progression

What has “progressed” during this chapter?

Why has she come to Wildfell Hall? (as a refuge)

What views of marriage does his mother express, and how are these contrasted with those he holds? (78) Why do you think the author includes this interchange?

On what grounds does Mrs. Markham suggest that Helen would make an unacceptable daughter-in-law?

Chapter 7 The Excursion

What does Gilbert observe during the group excursion? (Helen’s seriousness at painting, dislike of conversation while painting, willingness to accede to his suggestions)

How have his emotions toward Eliza changed?

Chapter 8: The Present
What are some implications of the gift Gilbert gives to Helen? How does she receive it, and how does he react to her reluctance?

Chapter 9: A Snake in the Grass

What is referred to in the title? What scandal is suggested by Eliza?

Do her suspicions seem likely? What emotions do they prompt in Gilbert? (jealousy) What hostile interchange occurs between him and Mrs. Graham’s landlord Lawrence?

 

 

(using external notes for this week: http://www.uiowa.edu/~boosf/questions/brontetenant.html)