Parentology During the Holidays: Santa.

When I first began my Parentology journey, I thought Santa would be…fun.

remote_image_1328529590Not that kind of fun.

 

Why wouldn’t it be?  You start on Christmas Eve when the family shares hot cocoa in front of a fire with the kids, as you read “The Night Before Christmas” together.  Once you are done, the children rush off to bed believing that Santa will traipse gingerly down the chimney to deliver hand-crafted gifts for very good little girls and boys in the middle of the night.

Come the brink of dawn, those bleary-eyed children will rustle you out of bed with shouts of squealing joy; and over a comforting cup of black coffee you get to watch your children marvel at the vision of brightly colored boxes on Christmas morning, excitedly scurrying in their new pajamas, finding the boxes with their names.

That’s how I thought it would happen.  It isn’t that ridiculous of an expectation, I don’t think.

 

What really happened was that my kids didn’t believe in Santa.  For years.

vintage_christmas_victorian_santa_claus_chimney_postcard-rf8a989e16ed94613b4d482e5ffb5d8a7_vgbaq_8byvr_512What a nice old man, sneaking into our home at night while we sleep!

 

Because it goes against everything we have taught them about strangers and making sure the house is locked at night to make sure robbers can’t get in (we have break-ins and house-robbery trouble in our town).

The idea that we would allow this guy named “Santa,” who we don’t actually know and isn’t family, to come into our house, while we were sleeping, and no one is concerned about this…made no sense to the kids, and they just didn’t buy it.

At all.

Because this is what they heard:

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“Firefighters struggle to rescue trapped man in chimney in late-night burglary attempt.”

 So, on the plus side we still have our Christmas Eve traditions.  We do read “The Night Before Christmas” in front of a fire together.  We still leave the tree empty that night, and when we are absolutely sure the kids are sleeping, for serious, we fill it with the brightly colored presents, one of which is from this mysterious Santa person, that we have lovingly wrapped and wait for them to wake up in the morning and fill the house with only the joy a happy child can bring.

I don’t have a problem with introducing my kids to the mystery of Santa.  I think it is a fun tradition for kids, and it is certainly more fun now, as parents.  Naturally, we spin the Santa-thing a little more and not only give the children a gift from Santa, but also from Elvis, The President of the United States, Bugs Bunny, Mr. T…and whoever else we can think of.  The names are associated with the gift, so if it is a music CD, it is from Elvis; if it is a packet of tea seeds for a garden, it is from Mr. T; and so on.

Maybe the idea of Santa sneaking into the house was never fun, but our hand-crafted Christmas mornings have always been fun.

I don’t think Christmas traditions have ever really been set in stone, and they tend to change as times change.  So even though we don’t have the Norman Rockwell Christmas I expected when we first started Parentology, I think our dynamic traditions definitely fit our family the best.

And that kind of is the whole point of Christmas morning.

The Reason For the…Grinch

I am not a Christmas person.

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 Play it again, Charlie.

I know, I know. It’s the reason for the season. The magic of the season.  Bringing out the Christmas cheer.  I don’t know, I’m sure there’s more platitudes out there, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head.

No-More-Platitudes

 

 

From a mom’s point of view, it is just a month of madness.

1/12th of the year is devoted to Christmas.  Christmas shopping. Christmas parties. Christmas snack lists. Christmas outfits. Christmas plays about how Christmas should be about Christmas.  No more running into a store without being blasted with glittered sleds hanging from the ceiling, and endless singing about the simpler days in life.  We are also inundated with crafts, decorations and DIYing.  If you have toilet paper rolls and tempra paint, you’re good to go.

Let me sum up Pinterest right now:

pinterestchristmasI think I’m sweating Mod Podge.

 

I know some people (see: most people) love Christmas.  They are the ones who stop the presses once Elf comes on and feel joy…honest to goodness joy in their souls to hang mistletoe above their doorways.

real mistletoeNo touchy.

I know this sounds like the Grinchiest of perspectives, but I assure you I am not a Grinchy person.  For the most part.  I just hate the whole month being devoted to false hopes and busy schedules and crazy aspriations for parents to provide the most idyllic holiday for their families (which seems to add up to 1/12th of the budget for the entire year).  I struggle with birthday cakes, alone.  I am not going to nail Christmas celebrations, decorations or invitations.

I’ll give you a turkey, thoughtful gifts, craft beer, a fire and stunning conversation.           That’s all I got, bub.

It is December 1st and already I am feeling the overwhelming commercialism of the season.  It is stifling, and I can barely think above the clatter of sleigh bells.

 

So I have decided this :

This is not going to be my December.

 

I will be doing crafts with my kids this month, because I love doing crafts with my kids.  We will be drinking apple cider with candy canes soaking in our cups, because I am a sucker for hot cider.  The kids have already begun to sing carols in the car, which is totally fine by me. I have a cart on Amazon ready to ship, filled with Christmas gifts I know my family will truly enjoy.

However, I am not going to go insane.  I am not going out of my way to find the Christmas experience.  I am actually going to limit the Christmas movies.  A Barbie Christmas Story?  No.  Christmas in Connecticut with Barbara Stanwyck?  An overwhelming yes.

My mantra for this season has to be honest to myself.  I just don’t get into a lot of Christmas stuff…but I love taking my kids around SanFrancisco and showing them the decorations and ice skating in Union Square.  I may not like decorating my house…but I love watching the kids go nuts stringing garlands and hanging ornaments.  Christmas may not be my time of year…but I love spending time with my family, and we can do Christmasy stuff together and I will love that.

 

 

So, here is my mantra this Season:

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Even one ornament too many can bring you to your knees.

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But if you focus on the people, and not what is on the tree… maybe it won’t be so bad.

Love,

-Grinch

My Favorite Thanksgiving Memory Was…

I have so many Thanksgiving memories under my belt…I remember being in my Uncle Johnny and Aunt Ruby’s house down in Hemet, CA and just being dumbfounded that they had rocks in their front yard instead of a lawn.  Rocks.  Who does this? They are allowed to have a rock garden, and I get in trouble for putting rocks in the lawn?  Where is the justice in this?

I remember the football games, I remember my eyes being way bigger than the turkey leg, and I remember starting my own Thanksgivings in my home.

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Good times.

But my favorite Thanksgiving memory is from a few years ago.

I am a sucker for parades, so we were watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade while I was puttering in the kitchen that morning.

I love parades. I watch the Rose Parade every.single.year without missing a beat.  I love the flowers and the creativity and the amazing community they bring together to celebrate the new year.  I broke down in tears the first time I watched the Disney parade with my kids, so naturally I was going nuts over the balloons and bands while I was watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

But as soon as the Rockettes came out…my daughters lost it.

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Good heavens, they are coordinated. 

They ran upstairs and got a couple pairs of Mom’s heels, then ran downstairs and were dancing with the Rockettes.

There is nothing sweeter than watching your daughters dream, and every clumsy kick in oversized gold heels was one more dream they believed in.  They made me rewind the DVR quite a few times so they could practice, and I had no problem indulging in their request.

That was absolutely my favorite Thanksgiving memory, and I am recording today’s parade to let the kids dream a little more.

What was your favorite Thanksgiving memory?

You Are Not Wonder Woman, And Neither Am I.

There is so much going on in my head these days, I don’t even know where to begin.

I am usually a little better at being in control of things, but right now I feel like I am slowly being swallowed up by lists.  Lists and lists and lists of things to get done.

WonderWoman never had this problem.

 

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Turn from classy suburban woman to Wonder Woman in 4 easy steps!

We are moving…at some point.  I have to start the process of calling realtors.

We need to sell our house…soon. So we need to fix our yards and get the house in order.

I have laundry to do and trim back…there is no way I am taking all this laundry with us into our new house.

We have to do stuff around the house, I’m sure. There are always 10,000 things I can fiddle with, and even finish, on any given day.

 

But with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, it puts a lot of these things on hold.  Kind of. I mean, it’s not so much of a rush, but we should get started. On something. In some manner…except that we’re moving, so how many of those projects are important anymore?  And we only have two more days this week, since Thursday is Thanksgiving, so should I even begin anything, or…

My stomach is suddenly in knots just thinking about abandoning the projects.  Or not abandoning them.  Or giving up and starting again on this process next week, except that it is only Tuesday today and I can’t picture myself wasting this entire week when I could use the time to accomplish something.  Somewhere.

 

I am completely unable to move right now.  

 

The paralysis of being overwhelmed sucks, and I can’t cuddle with my toddler in bed watching Doc McStuffins all day.  (right?)  I’m trying to get one load of laundry done today, and considering it a huge victory.  Today.

But I don’t want tomorrow to be like today…I don’t want to be stuck in “Overwhelmed Paralysis” all week.

It is okay to be overwhelmed when you feel overwhelmed, but you aren’t going to get out of this hole unless you pull yourself out of it.

 

 1. Do what you can do, but don’t do everything.

I am not going to deep clean this house before we leave. I am going to hire someone to take care of that after we get our stuff out.

I need to thin the laundry. I need to cook the meals. I need to take care of people in my house.

I don’t need to re-sod the yard.  So I’m just not going to think about that at all. Or about painting the walls white and never seeing the vibrant pink I put in the girls’ room, or the rolling green hills we painted in the boys’ room…or my beloved purple kitchen and living room.

I am totally not thinking about any of this.  Totally.

 

2. TTOG – Topic, Time, Owner, Goal.

“That is, What are we talking about? How long are we going to spend on it? Who’s responsible for it? (that is, who’s ‘on point’ for moving it forward), and – this one’s important – Why are we discussing it?  If you make a habit of clarifying these things (or asking others to clarify it for meetings they own)  everyone’s time will be much better spent.” (credit)

Found this on Forbes.com, and it is a really good idea for Moms, especially during holiday season.

 

 

3. Stop Working in the Evenings.

Make it a point to stop working after 6.  I know that sounds like the most absurd idea on earth…but this was actually something I implemented on myself when I first started my SAHM gig.

When I worked, I left my work at work.  Once I started working at home, I never left work and there is always something else to work on.  My burnout levels were incinerating, and I needed to make a big change.  When I worked, I came home in the evening and stopped working; why wasn’t I relaxing now?

If your burnout levels are critical, make it a point to stop working in the evenings.

Relax with your family, watch some TV, make some amazing tea: do something to relax.  But working around the clock is going to kill your energy levels the next day, and you will be so mentally exhausted you won’t be able to think straight.  This isn’t a good place to be, so don’t go there.

 

ohnoyoudidntDon’t even go there, girlfriend.

 

4. If You Are Overwhelmed, You Aren’t Smiling. Find A Way To Smile, Everyday.

This is crucial to remember.  Watch a very funny movie at night with someone.  Figure out how to make popcorn on the stove.

Have a beer.

Yes, I am advocating having a beer at night because you are a responsible adult who needs to relax.  Go to a liquor store and find your craft beer section.  Anything by Stone or Heretic is fantastic.

But if you don’t smile, you’ll forget how.  And then you’ll look like this.

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5. Sync Your Breaths With This. It’s Nice.

Big Huge Picture Blop: I’m Not Annotating Any of This ;)

Okay, well maybe a little.

We took a walk through downtown Seattle this morning and hit some big touristy things.

We got doughnuts at Top Pot (they looked pretty sensational).  We went to the Public Market and watched guys throw fish and yell at people.  I ended up giving my phone to Glenn to take pictures, which is always interesting.  Not in a “what was that” kind of interesting…but my focus is mostly on seeing stuff, and making sure the kids don’t get lost.  So he saw things I didn’t know were there!  It was fun going through the pictures when we got back.

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Seattle: Day 1 Photo Gallery

 

 

This has been a non-stop weekend…no joke!

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We spent our 14 hour drive in small gas stations, clearing bugs off the window.

IMG_0033 This is Shasta Lake, which I have never seen so dry in my life.  I have snorkeled in this lake throughout my youth, and there is hardly any water left.  It is very concerning.

IMG_0034Hour 4 into the trip.

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Mt. Shasta!  So beautiful. But I am going to jump from the 14 hour drive to…the condo! W00t! I am guarding shoes like a dragon.

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Chillin’ by the Sound, playing with ducks.

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Also hit a Farmer’s Market in Fremont. Nice place…very quiet.

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Getting a lay of the land, driving through neighborhoods, getting a feel for everything.

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Don’t underestimate how many hills are in Seattle.  There are a ton.

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Pioneer Square

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Utilikilts!  W00t!!  Totally seals the deal.

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The Seattle Art Museum is HUGE, and there will be more pictures later.

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Getting a feel of downtown Seattle.

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I had to get at least one picture of a Starbucks cafe`. They are everywhere, obviously 🙂

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We spent the rest of the day looking at houses in different places.  This was the driveway of one house, which was pretty darn beautiful.  Not a good house for us, but the front yard was gorgeous.

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And this is the lounge that Ben sent me to on our roof, where I got to relax by myself.  It was then where the enormity of “Seattle” started sinking in.  Driving around all day, looking at houses in Ballard, Fremont, Eastlake, Lake Sammamish, Issaquah and a little bit of Renton…I was bushed, overwhelmed and running on adrenaline.  And it was the first day.

Just staring at the Sound was relaxing, and comforting.  I watched a few ferries come in and unload a ridiculous amount of cars from it’s hull, people walking off and going home.  The ferris wheel was turning slowly next to me.

This is going to be a big change.  This is going to change the course of our kids’ futures.  They are going to have completely different childhoods than I had.  I won’t go to the same stores, I won’t see the same people, I won’t have the same routines.  I won’t even be wearing the same clothes (oh man, I took my shoes and socks off asap.  I am a barefoot person, and socks were killing me).

It was a good time though. Just reflecting on everything, watching the water.

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And then we went to dinner at the pub downstairs 🙂  The waitress lived in SF for 6 years, and she loved talking about the differences between there and here.  It was a great time…I love pubs. They are always friendly and comfortable.

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And this one had Irish Coffees with cinnamon swirlies, which totally made my day 😉

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