Right Now, I Am Okay.

I am doing things.

And I am finishing things (thank goodness).

But these days, I feel like I am barely keeping up. Not with my schedule, but with my expectations.

My accomplished tasks for today have been…

• Make iron skillet buttermilk biscuits from scratch for breakfast.

• Check email/news.

• Get math going for the kids downstairs.

• Take a shower.

• Check on the kids and figure out they have been messing around while I was in the shower. Move my laptop and coffee into the schoolroom and supervise math. Scores suddenly go from 70% to 90% (not a big surprise).

• Finish 2 lessons of math, while the younger kids watch Reading Rainbow.

• Take a break and do laundry/dishes.

• Make burritos for lunch

• Get back to Language Arts, make phonics cards for younger kids.

• Clean chicken coop, rake old straw out, restock water, food and fresh straw.

• Do another load of laundry.

• Find lost binder, finish literature.

• Sweep house.

• Put older kids on computers for schoolwork.

• Put chicken in the oven.

• Collect all trash and take it outside.

• Do phonics card games with younger kids.

• Make another pot of coffee.

• Find iPad, and sit down with coffee.

• Find husband in the house all of a sudden. Drink coffee on porch.

• Suddenly realize I needed to do a “Who Am I” poster for two kids for school tomorrow.

• Write list of what I remember doing today, so I don’t feel like I have done nothing and am constantly falling behind on accomplishing anything, and failing my family by letting them all down because I can’t keep my head above water.

Maybe if I was sitting in Starbucks, drinking a macchiato and listening to Bob Dylan music, I would think I was relaxing.

But, when I am sitting at my kitchen table and typing…all I can see are things I have not done.

The floor is not mopped.

The dishes are not completely finished.

The bathrooms have not been bleached.

Upstairs has not been vacuumed.

The himalayas of clean laundry have definitely not been folded.

The quilt I just sewed doesn’t have an edging yet.

I haven’t finished 2 writing projects I wanted to get to.

The list just goes on and on. And, it is a neverending list that will continue to go on, as long as there is still breath in my body.

So, for now, I will make one cup of Irish coffee, and just relax.

I still have tomorrow, and there will be time for everything.

For now, I am okay.

 

 

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