The pleasure of writing includes the freedom to write about very certain and particular topics.
This means there is a process of editing and filtering of my life involved. Otherwise my writing would be a diary, instead of a blog.
This process of filtering gives a certain voice to writing. You know the difference between Poe’s writing and Tolkein’s writing because they have very distinct voices in their works. I actually wrote this huge long post last week that I thought would be great, but the next day I reread it and it just wasn’t the voice I had curated for my blog. It didn’t sound right, and so even though I spent hours writing it, I had to shelf it because it just didn’t fit. It was not part of my voice.
Something that is difficult to see in writing is the hardships of the soul. If I filter the hardships out, no one will ever know they even exist. And on one hand, that is nice. I am a rather private person, despite having a blog, and I am very selective with what I share with the world. I am not entirely comfortable sharing problems, for a few reasons. One is obviously pride, if I am going to be honest with myself. I know we will get through whatever we are going through and be stronger in the end, and I am not entirely comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities with everyone, at least on a regular basis. Another is that I do believe some things are genuinely private, and only the business of our family.
And lastly, I have a very English-Victorian mindset way in the back of my brain that thinks, “Oh, I don’t want to be a bother…”
This all being said, I do think it is fair to share some struggles here. Otherwise there would be the impression that we live in a magical wooden fairyland surrounded by beaches and unicorns.
Now, I haven’t found a unicorn yet. The rest is rather true, though.
Some things we have had to weather through include the huge break-in of our California house that we are trying to sell, which I wrote about a while ago. That was definitely a tough one to get through, but we are doing fine.
Another is that a week after we moved in, the empty lot behind us went up for sale, and so we had a for sale sign in front of our house for a month or two, as well as calls from real estate agents letting us know when people were coming to look at it. The reason why we needed to know was because our long driveway as an easement at the front, and it is the only method by which to reach the lot. So, now I had cars finding our remote house and people walking around in the 2 acres around us during the day. All in all, everyone was extremely respectful and very polite, and we never had any problems whatsoever. It was just frustrating that we just moved in, and we finally thought we could relax and let the kids play in the yards safely, and now there are cars driving up to our house and unloading people to walk around. Not entirely the best situation, but it all worked out in the end (I believe the property has sold, as the sign was finally taken down the other day).
We had to take down the fence around our backyard as soon as we moved in, because the real estate agents informed us that the previous owner had built it almost entirely on the property behind us; so that was kind of annoying. Again, we just moved in and we already have to start tearing things down.
We still have to fix the septic system and have mold removed from our roof, which we have needed to do ever since we moved in, but have been up to our ears taking care of other things. Oh, and our house ran out of propane last week and we can’t get a truck here to fill the tank until later this week, and I haven’t been able to use the stove or have had a warm shower in days…
This weekend we got another call from the police department, and they let us know that the California house that we are really, sincerely, eagerly trying to sell, was broken into again. The front door was kicked in and the frame is demolished. Our agent sent over a handyman to screw a huge piece of wood onto the frame to keep it somewhat secure.
This was my front door when we lived there.
This is what the home looks like, now.
So: recap. The front door is gone. The carpets are gone. The kitchen is totaled. The ceiling is caving in. No stove, island, cabinets, oven, cupboards, sink, dishwasher, etc because the upstairs flooded when the first break in happened and they unplugged the toilet and flooded the house. No doors on any bathroom cabinets because they were stolen. No closet doors. My sewing machine is gone. My laundry baskets are gone. The kids’ bikes are gone. My telescope is gone. The wagon is gone…and on and on ….it is ridiculous.
I almost want to think….I don’t know what the hell is happening anymore. I just don’t understand this madness.
But, it is what it is. And we can only move forward and be stronger in the end. I certainly am not going to let bastards who destroy homes of good people also destroy my deep-rooted belief that there are still good people in the world: and anyone who says differently is a damn fool.
Good will always triumph. There will always be people who will rise up and make the world a better place. There are people from every corner of the world who bring peace and joy to our lives, and they are the ones who will triumph the most. The men and women who spend countless hours volunteering to make sure kids have safe places to go, or that families have warm meals or clothes for their children. The groups that work tirelessly to get clean drinking water to third world countries. The men and women who look after single mothers and help their children out of the love from their hearts. The men and women who do even simple things, like being good friends to people in their lives, or love their neighbors. The men and women on the streets just seeing things that need to be done, and finding the time to do it. Good people see their time as the biggest opportunity to offer to others, and they spend it finding ways to serve others in ways that would make a real difference. Not just something you can put on paper, but something that will really impact their community and bring genuine peace and earnest love into the lives of those around them.
Now, this all doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen. There will always be toil and grief in life. Jesus even said Himself, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
It means good will be given the opportunity to triumph.
That is the entire point.
And if you cannot see the good in people…if you cannot see how much good is in our world…if this wooden door that encases the shell of a house I used to live in is the blinder on your vision that keeps you from being able to see the incredible, unending love that people will always bring into our lives…
then this is opportunity to take this plank out of your eye.
“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
Life can be tough, no doubt. Not all roads are paved with brilliant sunlight and easy journeys.
I have faith, though, that the roads never end, despite that some roads may travel in periods of shadows. But the love and inherent good in ourselves and in people will always be the most triumphant, and one criminal alone cannot undermine the countless hours of good that thousands of people invest into the world.
That’s what I think 🙂
()&*^%^&*()&^(*&_(()&*(&*!!!!!!!!!! And I don’t curse! Glad you posted what you did, rising above the ugliness of selfishness and destruction to focus on the good. I grieve for those who live in darkness and choose to stay there for whatever reason.
I know it’s kind of missing the point, but I can just see you yelling at your computer screen in my head…and that’s kind of worth it 😉 This is certainly a trial and a half, that’s for sure. But I know we are going to be fine in the end. The people who pulled all this off…I am positive they are not going to be fine in the end.