There are a lot of living creatures in my house.
5 kids, 1 husband, 2 cats, 2 dogs, 7 chickens.
They all need something, all the time, and I am generally the one giving it to them. Generally…specifically, I delegate or let Ben take over when I need a break. There is a balance to the system, but “generally,” Ben provides for the home and I provide in the home.
There are days when someone/thing is sitting on me.
I remember there was one day when I had enough touching from 3 people trying to sit on me at once, so I just went to my bed and laid there for a second to connect with myself again. I absolutely love holding my kids. But after an hour (or 12), I need a break. So, I’m laying there in bed by myself, when my husband flops on me and wanted to talk. Which is awesome, because I love Ben and I love talking with him. So then he leaves, and I’m back to just laying there by myself again… and the cat jumps on me.
I’ve told people before that if you absolutely need time when no one is sitting on you or touching you, go take a shower. For the most part…I mean, I’m a mother. Sometimes I get ambushed in there too…
The problem for women is when there is no break or balance to the system, and we are overloaded. This happens when we are taking care of a sick family member, our elderly parents, a friend in need, or other stressful events in life. Maybe you are moving, maybe you just moved, maybe work sucks, maybe there is no work. And with holiday season coming up, there are office parties, school parties, church parties, ladies night out parties, presents to buy, food to prepare, the house to clean (ahahahahahaha….), and people to take care of. This can get overwhelming faster than you realize. You might be overwhelmed just thinking about this…stay with me! (focus!)
The thing is, women (in general) tend to take on the emotional burden for the entire situation and everyone involved; and most of the time we don’t realize we are doing it, either.
In times when women feel completely overwhelmed, the symptoms can be all over the place (I mean, hey…we’re women. Why limit yourself to one emotion, when we have +64?). We might retreat and hide, we might be snippy with people we love, we might be horrible to ourselves in our heads, we might not see the point of doing anything anymore.
This is emotional survival mode, and you need to treat it like that.
Women are great at multi-tasking, and people don’t realize that they are actually multi-tasking emotions, not tasks around the house.
Watching another woman enter into emotional survival mode is like watching someone bleed all over the place, and they insist it’s not that bad…but you just know they are going to fall over any second if they keep going at this pace. You are going to have to triage yourself, otherwise you’ll bleed out. Hide in the bathroom, or wherever you can, once an hour throughout the day in order to regroup with yourself. You will need that time by yourself in order to heal. You will get better in time, and you will feel happy again, and you won’t sound bitchy because you won’t feel bitchy.
During emotional survival mode, you need to pace yourself. Start journaling. Start with the crazy ass shit that sounds insane….and get it out of your system, and find yourself again. Start actually talking to someone about this, and soon you will be able to talk about it without crying uncontrollably. You will see the hope and it will motivate you to be strong, because you are a strong woman.
And I know we can do it 🙂