SAHMs Need Not Apply? Oh, Please.

“This is NOT a good job for a stay-at-home mom looking to fill a few hours between yoga and picking up the kids. It requires full concentration, the schedule can be erratic, and our clients are past the Gummy bear stage.”

 

Hi. I am a SAHM.  I ran across this job posting looking for an Office Manager in a Mom’s forum, and….you just can’t pass this up without commenting.  You just can’t.

 

“Office Manager Quiz: Are You the Most Detail Oriented Person You Know?

Step 7 – Springfield, NJ

Quick—when was the last time you organized your sock drawer? If you answered more than 30 days, you may not be right for this job.Growing insurance brokerage is looking for highly organized and professional office manager. Full-time salaried position.You will be in charge of various administrative processes, including but not limited to scheduling appointments, data entry, completing financial paperwork, client contact & follow-up, working with insurance companies, organizing workshops, and keeping sharp objects away from the principals.

Our office is fast-paced, demanding, and fun – not typical or boring in any way. This is NOT a good job for a stay-at-home mom looking to fill a few hours between yoga and picking up the kids. It requires full concentration, the schedule can be erratic, and our clients are past the Gummy bear stage.”

 

WOW.

I’m not sure if they could drive that nail of condescension any deeper!  Now, I understand that the person they are looking for to fill this position clearly needs to be both insane and willing to do insane things with unreasonable expectations on limited budgets and crazy timeframes…and I can see how the first person whom would come to mind would be a SAHM.  I totally understand this.

I would like to ask them: when was the last time you organized 7 sock drawers, 16 subject curriculums with interactive lesson plans, 21 homemade meals a week all the while not being a condescending jerk about it?  If you answered, “Why would you have 7 sock drawers…?” then you may not be cut out for the job of a homeschooling mom of 5.

 

Listen. I know what popular media thinks SAHMs do all day.  Clearly we have time for yoga class in between meals wrought with gummy bears.

1320863651140_2970852Right?

So let’s see what the job duties for this stellar job that is above my pay grade would include:

 

Job duties include:
– Schedule Appointments
– Maintain company database
– Collect client information
– Client follow-up
– Fill out detailed forms
– Organize and keep workflow on schedule
– Executive support
– Multi-tasking, poly-tasking, a tisking and a tasking

Job Requirements:
– A professional demeanor
– A positive attitude
– Proficiency in Word, Excel, and some knowledge of a contact management system
– Highly organized
– Reliable
– Obsessively detail oriented
– Ability to juggle multiple plates at a time (if they have tasty snacks on them, even better)
– Problem-solving skills are a must, a college degree is a bonus, and prior experience in a law firm, financial services firm, accounting office or insurance agency earns you extra bonus points (redeemable for free coffee in our kitchen)

 

WHEW!  That is a lot of stuff to do!  I just couldn’t even imagine handling a job that busy….

or could I.

So here is what I did today:

  • Woke up at 7am
  • made coffee
  • went to the bathroom
  • got coffee
  • checked email, blogs, blog forums, twitter, facebook, news, BlogHer NaBloPoMo posts
  • 8am make breakfast for the kids
  • change Alice’s diaper
  • get Alice milk
  • get Nova & Glenn started on their chores (dog poop, unload dishes, load dishes, feed chickens, give chickens water, collect eggs)
  • start dishwasher
  • change load of laundry, take fresh towels upstairs for showers
  • get another cup of coffee
  • clean Alice who is covered with peanut butter. Put the peanut butter back.
  • Make a green smoothie for myself. Give 1/4 of it to Alice.
  • 9am get Conrad and Eve going on Starfall.com and ReadingEggs.com
  • Start Nova and Glenn reading Jane Eyre. Read 2 chapters with them with study questions.
  • Get Alice another cup of milk. Get her situated with coloring
  • 10am have Nova and Glenn continuing on reading, head over to feed store with dog to get more chicken food
  • 10:30 take 50lbs bag of feed into the backyard, refill food container and give chickens more food
  • water flowers in front yard next to the Free Little Library
  • Check in on reading, get them started on math
  • Check on computer work, get them off Minecraft and back onto Starfall
  • 11am swap laundry. Take shower.
  • Check email, blogs, blog forums. Start brainstorming blog ideas.
  • Help with math
  • Pull up the Kindle version of the Book of Enoch and begin study
  • 11:45 get lunch started
  • clean up living room.
  • Take trash out
  • unload dishwasher
  • get kids started on EPGY & ReflexMath
  • get dirty laundry from upstairs
  • eat a cup of cashews
  • do math with Conrad & Eve
  • 12:30 start writing a blog post
  • wash a few windows
  • put books back on bookshelves, reorganize Art Cabinet

…honestly, it just goes on like this all day. More laundry, more tending the kids, finishing school subjects, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning under the couch, cleaning Library, sweeping, making dinner, dishes, reading…

 

WAIT!!  I DIDN’T SCHEDULE MY YOGA AND GUMMY BEARS!  

Oh well.  Tomorrow’s another day.

 

• Location: Springfield, NJ
• Compensation: $12 to $16 an hour based on experience

 

Oh, honey.  You’re going to have to pay me a whole lot more than $12/hr to put up with that terrible attitude.

You’re clearly tired. Go take a nap.

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