Demystifying Alcohol for Women: The White Side of the Vineyard – White Wine

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White wines have proved to be both astonishingly interesting, annoyingly self-entitled, fabulously bold and heart-wrenchingly boring.

 

Photo on 11-24-13 at 5.29 PM #2

 

These are going to be rated from what I liked best to worst:

1. Gewurztraminer
2. Muscato
3  Rose` muscato.
4. Riesling
4. Sauvignon blanc
5. Pinot grigio
6. Chardonnay
7. Semillon
 
 
 

1) Sauvignon blanc

The attitude – This is a delicate, sophisticated wine for people who can taste subtleties easily.  It is a sultry murmur of wit that can be lost if too many loud noises are around.  If you are a woman who likes exotic cheeses, you will definitely appreciate this wine.

The grapes – The grapes are generally grown near the ocean, or at least in mediterranean climates that have long autumns, crazy hot summers and gentle winters.

sauvignon blanc wine – It is definitely served chilled, although letting it warm to almost room temperature will bring out the good solid notes of melon, grapefruit, green apples and crisp pears.  Not very dry at all, very clean finish.  Definitely a pleasant experience. But very fruity, very bold and very white-winey.

It pairs well with – Waldorf Salad, scallops, trout, prosciutto and fresh apples, sorbets.

2) Chardonnay

The attitude – Welcome to the white wine that has put us red wine drinkers off all this time!  Ah, chardonnay.  The pastel colored grape with a hint of 1980s shoulder pad wearing, uninspiring, vapid wine that you would drink if your soul was on fire, and you just didn’t care, because you’re re-watching Friends, from the beginning, every night at 7:00pm in your very special flannel pjs you got at Sears.  I also may be a little pious with my opinions, here.

The grapes – Can be grown anywhere and will adapt to any situation with no repercussions to themselves.
Chardonnay wine –  Chardonnay wine is very thin but rather dry and bitter.  It has notes of grapefruit, but so light in taste that it hardly compliments anything.  Very predictable white wine. It is a white wine that you will either love, or quietly dump it into the nearest potted plant (I have done this before.  I think the plant survived, but I can’t say for sure).

It pairs well with – fish, salmon, chicken, caviar, brie and a well-manicured afternoon chick flick that you already know how it’s going to finish.

3) Semillon

The attitude –  This is the wine for the adventurous spirit.  You will not see this at Mother’s Day brunch, but you will see it hiding inside the pantry of someone who has discovered the brash, dry, unyielding white wine that is semillon.  If you enjoy fire breathing on your days off; if you can just get in your car and explore, and somehow find yourself in the middle of Newfoundland; if you like absinthe with a shot of tomato juice while reading Poe…you might like semillon.

The grapes – 

These are grown along the coast of France, as well as California. Crazy summers, long autumns, unoffensive winters.
3) Semillon
The attitude – This is the wine for the adventurous spirit.  You will not see this at Mother’s Day brunch, but you will see it hiding inside the pantry of someone who has discovered the brash, dry, unyielding white wine that is semillon.  If you enjoy fire breathing on your days off; if you can just get in your car and explore, and somehow find yourself in the middle of Newfoundland; if you like absinthe with a shot of tomato juice while reading Poe…you might like semillon.
The grapes
These are grown along the coast of France, as well as California. Crazy summers, long autumns, unoffensive winters.
 wine – This is a mysterious white wine that is normally blended into sauvignon blancs to introduce an almost syrup flavor to it. It has the taste of figs, grass, berries.  

It pairs well with –

mussels, clams, oysters, roasted fig and brie, pomegranate sorbet, pasta salad, skydiving.

4) Moscato

The attitude – 

If you secretly have a unicorn and rainbow sticker on the inside of your work folder, I bet you like moscato wine.  If you still have your collection of Judy Blume books (that you will *never* part with!); if you are a little girly, but not too girly, but above all things *privately girly*, then this is the wine for you.
The grapes – 
This is an extremely sweet grape that grows in the middle of land.  It enjoys being surrounded by vines in warm climates. Snow?  A cold breeze?  Not on these dainty bunches, thankyouverymuch.

5) moscato wine –

serious port qualities, syrupy, very thickly sweet, melon, cherries, plums.  It was so much thicker than any of the other wines that it is hard to even categorize them in the same way. If I was at a party and the only thing they had was white wines, I might take this one just because it is so different.

rose` muscato – melon, creamy, rose, strawberries. but it’s a little lighter than muscato.

Just go straight to dessert if you’re drinking moscato.  It isn’t a dessert wine, like port, but it is very very sweet. A little citrus, a little musky, but not an intimidating wine.
It pairs well with –
go with something that will balance it, like dry hard goat cheese or raspberry brownies.  Although, if you’re feeling a little daring…try extra spicy plum salmon, wearing your best bling shoes you got, girlfriend!

5) Pinot grigio

The attitude – 
If you like the briny air of the coast, the grit of sand between your toes, the smell of seaweed in your hair…you will prefer pinot grigio.  It is pinot noir’s cousin who prefers to kick back, rather than knock your socks off.

The grapes – This is because the black grapes grown for pinot noir wines are grown on the coast of California where it is significantly cooler than inland.  The grapes are pelted with ocean fog every day, and they become very bold grapes due to the climate.


Pinot grigio wine –
The most intense tangy, sour white wine of them all.  This one stands out for the tang it brings to the table. Crisp, clean finish, notes of pears, but very white wine finish….terrible aftertaste.  I will say, it has the most memorable flavor of them all, and that alone would draw me back to it.
It pairs well with – salmon, pears, hard cheese, spicy Thai, sushi.

6) Gewürztraminer

The attitude – This wine shocked the socks off me.  It was a very, very complex wine.  If you like scotch, you will appreciate this wine.  If you like your books a little more complicated, the plot lines a little messier, and for the conclusion of your novel to be a one-two punch to the gut, you’ll like this.  It’s just….so…different.
The grapes – Just between you and me, though: These are the most spoiled, entitled grapes on the face of the earth.  “Oh, the soil is too moist!  It’s too dry!  I’m too hot!  Why isn’t it cold enough, you are doing this on purpose. You’re breathing on me…now I have mold.”  Get over yourself, sister.

Gewurztraminer wine – Much more complex nose, much stronger taste than reisling.  Lots of apple, grapefruit, but the flavor is so much more complex. Dry, but bitter after taste. Sweet front, complex middle, fruity, but really complex after taste. By far the most complex white wine of them all.

This wine is hard to describe.  It is crisp, yet has distinct floral notes.  It isn’t exactly “refreshing,” and you won’t feel better after drinking it.  But it is a little peachy.  In a very snotty, self-righteous kind of way.  So, there’s that.

It pairs well with – Chinese, Thai, Cantonese…but I can’t really speak for it.  It’s giving me a dirty look as I’m typing, and it’s making me a little uncomfortable…

7) Riesling 

The attitude – This sucker is just one big huge note of apples.  I’m not a fan of hard cider, but if I was, I would love riesling wine.  

The grapes – They grew and became grapes.  However,there are a TON of riesling vineyards popping up in Washington and New York.  So, it needs it a lot colder, a lot moister, with a hipster beard and a scarf knitted from a rare breed of alpaca wool that you’ve never heard of.

riesling wine – It’s definitely good on its own, but you really have to like apples.  A lot.

It pairs well with – waldorf salad, salted caramel

I’m not finishing any of these, though.
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