Unorchestrated Surprises

Okay, so my surprise pregnancy was #5.

Every single pregnancy before that was planned TO THE DAY. I had one kid in each season, no overlapping birthdays, no birthdays near holidays. It was seriously orchestrated.
Now, at this time in my life I was on the pill (to regulate my raging uterus) and we were waiting for a date for a vasectomy…which is a long story, in itself.  Apparently, in the area in which we live, men have to call every 2 weeks to find out if there is space for them in the vasectomy trainride, of which has 9 spots available.  It is a busy commuter train, we found, and Ben never found a spot on it.  To compound upon this weird situation, his company sent him to Asia and Europe innumerous times that year.  He was out of town/country at least once a month for a year…which got old pretty fast; but it also meant that calling the vasectomy plan was very low on our list of priorities.  We went 9 years without surprise pregnancies before we even had any kids…we were pros.  Didn’t really even register on our radar.
4 months in to my taking the pill, again, purely for hormonal purposes,  I feel pregnant.  But it’s the pill, so I write it off. But I know when I’m pregnant. I really know how it feels…heck, I’ve done it 4 times already.  But who knows, it’s the pill…
Fast forward 2 months, and I am in my bathroom giving the kids take baths, and I bend over to pick something up and I feel my belly shift over my ribcage
Bellys don’t do that unless there is something in there.
So, I go to the store, get a test, take it home and hey! We’re pregnant!
BONUS: already in the 2nd trimester! Woot!
So, I wasn’t expecting this one, and I spent the day crying….it just took me by surprise so much. I spent the previous pregnancy saying, “I am going to appreciate this, because it’s the last time.”  I spent a year breastfeeding saying, “I am appreciating this, because it’s the last time.”  I also spent 8 months with a cane, limping from sciatic nerve pain due to my uterus being set so far back that the babies are literally sitting on the base of my spine and thus crushing the sciatic nerve in between my pelvic bones; for those of you who have experiencing this unrelenting pain, you know there is no yoga position that will help, and you are stuck in pain with no help from Motrin, whatsoever.  So I told myself, “just as long as the baby is healthy and I am healthy, this is just pain for the sake of pain, and it will pass.”  
It did pass the moment I delivered my fourth child, and I was able to recover from pregnancy and from birth unhindered by unnecessary pain.  So when I found out this was coming again, I braced for the oncoming storm of pain I knew was headed my way.
Those who know me know I am not a woman to cower, though.  I have never seen a challenge too big for my soul.   So, that evening I got myself some ice cream, pulled up my boot straps and said, “LETS DO THIS THING.”
So, 2 days before Christmas…the Christmas that both our families were coming to our house for, so I pre-cooked Christmas dinner and left post-it notes all around my kitchen, just in case I didn’t make it back from L&D for Christmas Day (got home Christmas Eve! Like a pro…)….our very sweet little girl was born. She’s slept through the night since the day she was born, sweetest little dimple smile and tons of curls all over.
I absolutely wasn’t expecting her.   
I wasn’t expecting to have a surprise pregnancy….ever…I didn’t plan for a surprise pregnancy, you could say.  
Yet,  our baby has been so wonderful, I couldn’t imagine life without her. She helps me water my garden in the morning, she draws on the walls when I’m not looking, and she is completely obsessed with shoes. She’ll be turning 2 this year, and it has been amazing.  We now have 5 kids, who each have their own incredible personality to themselves and who each teach me something new about life that I hadn’t seen before.  No volume of philosophy books can teach you what a house full of artists, engineers, theologians, martial artists and thinkers can give you, I’ll say that.
I do continue to think that I am in charge of the day, scheduling lunches, laundry, schooling, and events; but Alice reminds me of what wonderful surprises lie beyond my plans and agendas.